Song of the day: Super Junior-Miracle
Movie of the day: No movie for today n.n
Food of the day: No food either!
Color of the day: sunshine orange
I have been getting worse. and i feel its my mind coming back on me.
Ah, yes i know..i have done stupid shit in my past.
And i kind of want to fix it.
Ya know?
Yeah i am an asshole. now just let me say im fucking sorry, stop saying the fake bullshit about me and lets get on with life cause i can hear every word.
other then that.
am kind of happy.
Teddy moved away.
Miranda broke her arm.
..Bout it lol (im such an ass)
am going to the hospital more and more, i weigh 93 pounds now and i throw up when i eat.
The nightmares wont stop, thier all about my past friends.
Chrystal: She just used me till our last day of being friends..never saw her again.
Steven: He just left
Rosa: hates me and i know it cause she put a hit out on me and came over with her father to threaten me for something i didnt even do.
Danita: We were close friends till she met Teddy..sence she heard the fake lies teddy said she must be saying shit about me constantly now.
Teddy: sence i didnt go out with her she fucking wants to piledrive my head in.
Miranda: i finally broke up with her and shese pissed about it and wants to somehow make me jealous or something.
Stacey: she said i had sex with jake to everyone..and i never did only dated the dude for not even a week!!
kiki: she made up shit about me, prank called me, hacked me and still does till this godamned day! JUST BECAUSE I TOLD HER NOT TO GO WITH THIS 20 YEAR OLD ONLINE DUDE SHE MET!.
Yeah, all these people keep popping up in my dreams constantly.
making my life like hell.
Would you all stop it!
get the fuck over it! stop bringing me up!
and what the hell.
sick and tighred of it!!
ah well.
i need to lay down..my chest is killing me.
Bye again.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Monday, April 14, 2008
Song of the day: I've just seen a face By. The beetles
Movie of the day: Great Yokai war
Food of the day: Banana
Color of the day: light Green
Well lets start this with, I hope today will be great!
lately whenever i visit franks place i get bombarded with buzzers from Teddy or Axl. saying they want thier Gamecube back??
I dont even remember even getting a gamecube from them but whatever.
she was the one who has been saying shit about me, and she even threatend me in public! PLUS SHE DIDNT ASK NICELY!
If i even HAD the gamecube, I wouldent give it back just cause how much of a Bitch she was.
Other then the negativity.
I've been sicker then anything recently, I felt as if im just a Potatoe sitting on the coutch wallowing in self pity.
Cause the new medication they put me on makes me that way for a few days.
Vomiting,Coughing to death,Weezing,Cant eat anything.
I lost 4 pounds in a week, But finally re-gained my strength saturday!
(Thank gods! tho i look like a walking skeliton) and Mom decided for me to get some fresh air, so we whent to WK Castle.
I brought my camera along and took some photos.
of wich are not uploading for me for some reaassoonn..
but ahh well, i'll try later then.
Other then that, I got to go over dads house, they had a Bombfire.
And i hung out in the recording studio for a few till John came.
I would stay in, but they play way too loud. Plus John really cant sing worth crap (not being mean, the guys major cool)
i stayed that night, cause my medication made me passout on my stepsisters bed onaxident when i was reading her a book lol.
i woke up around 4:00 in the morning.
Walked around the house..Puked...And just turned on the TV...no cabel..damnit..Lol so i had to watch the little Vampire on DVD.
not bad, am fine with it.
cute movie.
got kinda bored and just waited till everyone woke up.
After that me and My step sister amanda goofed around with my laptop (it NEVER gets wireless connection way up where dad lives)
and found that my computer has pictures on it that came with it lol.
then i helped dad around the yard with the brush and trees that got in the way.
Killed my chest from that.
so when we got back home, i just sat thier.
and all of a sudden.
THIERS THE BUZZER FOR THE DAMN GAMECUBE!
We ignored it.
and i just whent to bed.
Okay i need to get off.
I have to take a shower, and i have a doctors appointment for bloodwork,catscan,Xray and a ultrasound to see whats wrong with my chest (Like the other post, the doctors posponed it to today)
Bye now!
Movie of the day: Great Yokai war
Food of the day: Banana
Color of the day: light Green
Well lets start this with, I hope today will be great!
lately whenever i visit franks place i get bombarded with buzzers from Teddy or Axl. saying they want thier Gamecube back??
I dont even remember even getting a gamecube from them but whatever.
she was the one who has been saying shit about me, and she even threatend me in public! PLUS SHE DIDNT ASK NICELY!
If i even HAD the gamecube, I wouldent give it back just cause how much of a Bitch she was.
Other then the negativity.
I've been sicker then anything recently, I felt as if im just a Potatoe sitting on the coutch wallowing in self pity.
Cause the new medication they put me on makes me that way for a few days.
Vomiting,Coughing to death,Weezing,Cant eat anything.
I lost 4 pounds in a week, But finally re-gained my strength saturday!
(Thank gods! tho i look like a walking skeliton) and Mom decided for me to get some fresh air, so we whent to WK Castle.
I brought my camera along and took some photos.
of wich are not uploading for me for some reaassoonn..
but ahh well, i'll try later then.
Other then that, I got to go over dads house, they had a Bombfire.
And i hung out in the recording studio for a few till John came.
I would stay in, but they play way too loud. Plus John really cant sing worth crap (not being mean, the guys major cool)
i stayed that night, cause my medication made me passout on my stepsisters bed onaxident when i was reading her a book lol.
i woke up around 4:00 in the morning.
Walked around the house..Puked...And just turned on the TV...no cabel..damnit..Lol so i had to watch the little Vampire on DVD.
not bad, am fine with it.
cute movie.
got kinda bored and just waited till everyone woke up.
After that me and My step sister amanda goofed around with my laptop (it NEVER gets wireless connection way up where dad lives)
and found that my computer has pictures on it that came with it lol.
then i helped dad around the yard with the brush and trees that got in the way.
Killed my chest from that.
so when we got back home, i just sat thier.
and all of a sudden.
THIERS THE BUZZER FOR THE DAMN GAMECUBE!
We ignored it.
and i just whent to bed.
Okay i need to get off.
I have to take a shower, and i have a doctors appointment for bloodwork,catscan,Xray and a ultrasound to see whats wrong with my chest (Like the other post, the doctors posponed it to today)
Bye now!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
You can't control the unknown.
Song of the day: Super Junior - Wonder Boy
Movie of the day: No movie again n.n
Food of the day: Penutbutter and fluff sandwitch yum.
Color of the day: sky blue
Walking out into the dew scented air smiling with my head held high.
"This is going to be a GREAT DAY!"
As so i thought.
Well, heres my day.
I know we cant controll the unknown, nor can go back in time to say we are sorry when we know we cant be forgiven.
But..atleast we say were sorry from the bottom of our hearts instead of saying nothing at all.
I have kept, every single, solitary secret..And never told anyone, and i will keep every one Untill the day i die..because those secrets will leave with my memories in the wind.
The pain in my chest wont stop..i feel majorly numb constantly...and..i hate seeing mom cry..I can never sleep, and when she walked into the bathroom i herd something.
So i just tip-toed up to the door to listen..she was crying..
I feel like an asshole for i dont know.
Were always smiling..
i never ever said anything horrible or ever yelled at her..i dont know whats wrong.
But we whent to the hospital today.
the doctors put me on more medication...and I found out..
Im loosing weight like no tomorrow..
Im supposed to weigh..110.
But i weigh 102 now..and used to weigh 106.
thats not good.
Still, the harrassment wont stop..But..it happens, and i feel as if i deserve it.
If it is heart problems..then i might not live long..
Its okay...Atleast..if anyone asks what has happend..or anything.
Just say..
"I died"
And i hate it when people drag along in depression..i dont want that..just be happy..
thats all i want..i just want to see everyone happy.
Im going to the hospital tomorrow for Blood work, Cat scan, and some other testings i forgot what they were called, but one of them is jamming a tube down my throaght.
jeeze...im only 14...Why must i go through this?
well..My medicine is kicking in..am feeling myself slowly falling asleep as i write this.
Well..Got to go now.
Bye n.n
Movie of the day: No movie again n.n
Food of the day: Penutbutter and fluff sandwitch yum.
Color of the day: sky blue
Walking out into the dew scented air smiling with my head held high.
"This is going to be a GREAT DAY!"
As so i thought.
Well, heres my day.
I know we cant controll the unknown, nor can go back in time to say we are sorry when we know we cant be forgiven.
But..atleast we say were sorry from the bottom of our hearts instead of saying nothing at all.
I have kept, every single, solitary secret..And never told anyone, and i will keep every one Untill the day i die..because those secrets will leave with my memories in the wind.
The pain in my chest wont stop..i feel majorly numb constantly...and..i hate seeing mom cry..I can never sleep, and when she walked into the bathroom i herd something.
So i just tip-toed up to the door to listen..she was crying..
I feel like an asshole for i dont know.
Were always smiling..
i never ever said anything horrible or ever yelled at her..i dont know whats wrong.
But we whent to the hospital today.
the doctors put me on more medication...and I found out..
Im loosing weight like no tomorrow..
Im supposed to weigh..110.
But i weigh 102 now..and used to weigh 106.
thats not good.
Still, the harrassment wont stop..But..it happens, and i feel as if i deserve it.
If it is heart problems..then i might not live long..
Its okay...Atleast..if anyone asks what has happend..or anything.
Just say..
"I died"
And i hate it when people drag along in depression..i dont want that..just be happy..
thats all i want..i just want to see everyone happy.
Im going to the hospital tomorrow for Blood work, Cat scan, and some other testings i forgot what they were called, but one of them is jamming a tube down my throaght.
jeeze...im only 14...Why must i go through this?
well..My medicine is kicking in..am feeling myself slowly falling asleep as i write this.
Well..Got to go now.
Bye n.n
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
*duying of laughter*
Well..My chest isint getting any better, but i actually had a good day for ounce!
I've been laughing constantly for no reason lol.
well. I got to see ben today, and these kids thought we were gay cause we were hugging eachother and acting like flamboyant people on purpouse XD
We did the usuall..Walk around...sit somewhere random and talk about whatever the hell is in our brains.
Get online and we kinda had a messed up discussion..and such..
not gona talk about it.
but yeah n.n
Atleast i got to say im sorry to misa.
tho i know she hates my guts and she'd never forgive me.
Oh well..Just gona give her space. Am moving anyway lol so am gona be out of her life for good and that'll make her happy.
OH YEAH! My friend sent me the most hillarious final fantasy video!
Watch it or i kill you with hugs...lol
WELL, I GOT TO GO NOW! HAHAHA BYE!
I've been laughing constantly for no reason lol.
well. I got to see ben today, and these kids thought we were gay cause we were hugging eachother and acting like flamboyant people on purpouse XD
We did the usuall..Walk around...sit somewhere random and talk about whatever the hell is in our brains.
Get online and we kinda had a messed up discussion..and such..
not gona talk about it.
but yeah n.n
Atleast i got to say im sorry to misa.
tho i know she hates my guts and she'd never forgive me.
Oh well..Just gona give her space. Am moving anyway lol so am gona be out of her life for good and that'll make her happy.
OH YEAH! My friend sent me the most hillarious final fantasy video!
Watch it or i kill you with hugs...lol
WELL, I GOT TO GO NOW! HAHAHA BYE!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Everyone, lets have a BULLSHIT DAY!~
Song of the day: Insanity by Oingo Boingo
Food of the day: Chilli pepper
Color of the day: BLACK
I have not slept in two days now cause the pain in my chest is unbearable.
Found out that mom and frank are looking at houses in Florida instead of nevada.
i decided just to stay online to relax..cause i really hate it, Thier going to move, and when that happens, i'd be dragged along and be that "Wierd new kid" All over again.
Sucks enough.
am just sitting thier again, untill i get a verry rude IM from this random person who thought i was someone else, think the guys name was jim or something..kind of cant remember much cause im running on empty here and the pains verry distracting.
THEN...my E-mail gets hacked, and i re-created a new one but everyone on that list all got sent to the new screename, un noticing any problem i just whent along talking to my friends about the day and such.
the kids are annoying..i have to babysit them today cause frank needs to go buy more cigaretts, Im to afraid to even go outside..
Think im coming down with an eating disorder..I havent eaten for 3 days now..and whenever i try to eat at all i just vomit it up and its horrible.
Try to sleep but thiers nightmares.
too weak to do anything..
just sitting here typing.
want to sleep..
also..I keep getting rude Im's from people.
Even an "Old friend" Not going to tell you whom the person is, nor what they have said, because thats rude.
so far 3 rude Im's from people and two were Accidental.
one was just a coincidence cause they should have just blocked me or ignored cause i wouldent even message them anyway for they really stabbed me in the back and shatterd my feelings in one single blow the first time.
I really got to go.
Akaash hit Shaan in the eye with a toy car..
bye.
Food of the day: Chilli pepper
Color of the day: BLACK
I have not slept in two days now cause the pain in my chest is unbearable.
Found out that mom and frank are looking at houses in Florida instead of nevada.
i decided just to stay online to relax..cause i really hate it, Thier going to move, and when that happens, i'd be dragged along and be that "Wierd new kid" All over again.
Sucks enough.
am just sitting thier again, untill i get a verry rude IM from this random person who thought i was someone else, think the guys name was jim or something..kind of cant remember much cause im running on empty here and the pains verry distracting.
THEN...my E-mail gets hacked, and i re-created a new one but everyone on that list all got sent to the new screename, un noticing any problem i just whent along talking to my friends about the day and such.
the kids are annoying..i have to babysit them today cause frank needs to go buy more cigaretts, Im to afraid to even go outside..
Think im coming down with an eating disorder..I havent eaten for 3 days now..and whenever i try to eat at all i just vomit it up and its horrible.
Try to sleep but thiers nightmares.
too weak to do anything..
just sitting here typing.
want to sleep..
also..I keep getting rude Im's from people.
Even an "Old friend" Not going to tell you whom the person is, nor what they have said, because thats rude.
so far 3 rude Im's from people and two were Accidental.
one was just a coincidence cause they should have just blocked me or ignored cause i wouldent even message them anyway for they really stabbed me in the back and shatterd my feelings in one single blow the first time.
I really got to go.
Akaash hit Shaan in the eye with a toy car..
bye.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
AHHH FANGIRLS RUN!
Song of the day:Shake It by Rediscover
Food of the day: Leechee
Color of the day: Violet
Okay! Today Frank took me and my mom up to a food place called RedBones up on a part of boston, My cousin wanted to do my hair so i let her, she put the back half up but down, styled it guy-ish and fixed the front of my hair.
Yeah Blonde and black hair, I wore my Purple and black striped shirt with the Black skull trenchcoat.
I brought my camera so i could record it all BUT SADLY it died right when i got thier, so i decided to be annoying! XD
We whent and made our reservations..thier was a 1 hour wait so we decided to walk around.
thier was this kid walking back and forth eating an icecream on this pillar thing, i ran up to him.
He looked at me and i said "HEY! You know where the pride convenction is? cause you look like someone who would know?" he looks at me and walks off laughing.
I danced around people. And skipped through this park, these emo kids were looking at me, with wierd stares.
And when i finally calmed down. we were waiting to cross the street, and all of a sudden, this girl in a naruto shirt, 2 aisan girls with a guy holding a sasuke plushie goes.
"OH MY GOD ITS JOEY!"
First of all..I dont look like him.
Nor are we the even same age or anything.
Mom and frank are WAY ahead looking at this store, so i just Book it lol.
tripped over this tree stump thing and mom laughes at me.
Then..Me and mom decide to be dorks and make fun of every person we see XD
Mom points at this aisan guy and goes.
"Oh my god its Jackey chan!" I reply "They all look like him dude"
Frank just looked at us like (Oh god what have i gotten myself into)
THIER WAS THE MOST STEROTIPICAL WHITE GUY I HAVE EVER SEEN!
With the sweater vest.
so white, he makes salt look black XD.
Okay i really need to stop with the racial jokes! Ahahaha!
BUT THIER WAS THIS HOT AISAN GUY!
Looked like Jae joong mixed with Heechul *drools* he had glasses..a tux..cute blue tie..and these thick rimmed glasseesss...*Fanboy squee*
*Cough*
And this cute girl!
I was sitting on this park bench looking at this stupid pigon walking around in circles as mom and frank read this statue..She stands next to where i was sitting, walks over, smiles at me..She looked like abby...but with short hair..and the same cute smile..she looked so adorable..maybe just out of colledge..she smiles, takes out a camera, does that "Chibi" stand holding the camera with both hands adorably,leans down and takes a picture of the pigon.
lol.
she just kept looking at me, i waved to her, she waved back and we both walked our seperate ways.
it was about time to start heading back to the food place, and well we were walking back, these ambulances and fire trucks and police cars zoom by. Someone got hit by a car.
Scary
And ater they left, when we were walking back through the park..ALOT of people kept looking at me. i felt so uncomfortable.
when we made it back to the food place, i just sat on the sidewalk cause we had 10 more minuets to wait, this LADY! With blonde hair kept looking at me..then she'd look away for a sec..then go back to STAIRING at me.
jesus..TAKE A PICTUE WHY DONT YA!?
Oh yeah! this place was SO COOL!
It was louder then a Bar, but everything was WOW!
Paintings everywhere! on the celing! everything!
it was all black and flouresent! So AWEOSME!
And guess who was the table next to me?
THAT HOT AISAN GUY!..and the adorable girl lol with a CRAPLOAD Of other people. They sang happy Birthday in..I think Korean?
I stuffed up on so much FOOD it was not even funny! thought i was gonna explode!
But after we left we whent to Stop and shop.
I danced down the isles like a moron making faces in the cameras. Found the condoms section, opend a box and made a Baloon animal out of this mint one Ahahahaha!
Thier was about noone thier! sence it was closing time lol!
I thought i would have gotten caught! I left the baloon animal on the shelf! XD
Ahh that was fun.
Moms actually happy with me lately. Finally lightend up and am finally happy for ounce!
She just is annoyed cause i decided to go all Ipod Human on her in the car..I SANG THE WHOLLEEE 30 MINUET RIDDEE!
Ahahaha!
Mom: ...Shut..up...please...ATLEAST SING A SONG IN ENGLISH!
Me: yongwone namgyojin narul chadnunga....Aww..Allright.."Sweat baby, sweat baby Sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff That only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants And I bet you'll feel n-"
Mom: NOT THAT SONG!
Frank: *Duying of laughter*
Today was a Great day, and am happy to get my ass outside for ounce!
Well. BYE BYE! n.n
Food of the day: Leechee
Color of the day: Violet
Okay! Today Frank took me and my mom up to a food place called RedBones up on a part of boston, My cousin wanted to do my hair so i let her, she put the back half up but down, styled it guy-ish and fixed the front of my hair.
Yeah Blonde and black hair, I wore my Purple and black striped shirt with the Black skull trenchcoat.
I brought my camera so i could record it all BUT SADLY it died right when i got thier, so i decided to be annoying! XD
We whent and made our reservations..thier was a 1 hour wait so we decided to walk around.
thier was this kid walking back and forth eating an icecream on this pillar thing, i ran up to him.
He looked at me and i said "HEY! You know where the pride convenction is? cause you look like someone who would know?" he looks at me and walks off laughing.
I danced around people. And skipped through this park, these emo kids were looking at me, with wierd stares.
And when i finally calmed down. we were waiting to cross the street, and all of a sudden, this girl in a naruto shirt, 2 aisan girls with a guy holding a sasuke plushie goes.
"OH MY GOD ITS JOEY!"
First of all..I dont look like him.
Nor are we the even same age or anything.
Mom and frank are WAY ahead looking at this store, so i just Book it lol.
tripped over this tree stump thing and mom laughes at me.
Then..Me and mom decide to be dorks and make fun of every person we see XD
Mom points at this aisan guy and goes.
"Oh my god its Jackey chan!" I reply "They all look like him dude"
Frank just looked at us like (Oh god what have i gotten myself into)
THIER WAS THE MOST STEROTIPICAL WHITE GUY I HAVE EVER SEEN!
With the sweater vest.
so white, he makes salt look black XD.
Okay i really need to stop with the racial jokes! Ahahaha!
BUT THIER WAS THIS HOT AISAN GUY!
Looked like Jae joong mixed with Heechul *drools* he had glasses..a tux..cute blue tie..and these thick rimmed glasseesss...*Fanboy squee*
*Cough*
And this cute girl!
I was sitting on this park bench looking at this stupid pigon walking around in circles as mom and frank read this statue..She stands next to where i was sitting, walks over, smiles at me..She looked like abby...but with short hair..and the same cute smile..she looked so adorable..maybe just out of colledge..she smiles, takes out a camera, does that "Chibi" stand holding the camera with both hands adorably,leans down and takes a picture of the pigon.
lol.
she just kept looking at me, i waved to her, she waved back and we both walked our seperate ways.
it was about time to start heading back to the food place, and well we were walking back, these ambulances and fire trucks and police cars zoom by. Someone got hit by a car.
Scary
And ater they left, when we were walking back through the park..ALOT of people kept looking at me. i felt so uncomfortable.
when we made it back to the food place, i just sat on the sidewalk cause we had 10 more minuets to wait, this LADY! With blonde hair kept looking at me..then she'd look away for a sec..then go back to STAIRING at me.
jesus..TAKE A PICTUE WHY DONT YA!?
Oh yeah! this place was SO COOL!
It was louder then a Bar, but everything was WOW!
Paintings everywhere! on the celing! everything!
it was all black and flouresent! So AWEOSME!
And guess who was the table next to me?
THAT HOT AISAN GUY!..and the adorable girl lol with a CRAPLOAD Of other people. They sang happy Birthday in..I think Korean?
I stuffed up on so much FOOD it was not even funny! thought i was gonna explode!
But after we left we whent to Stop and shop.
I danced down the isles like a moron making faces in the cameras. Found the condoms section, opend a box and made a Baloon animal out of this mint one Ahahahaha!
Thier was about noone thier! sence it was closing time lol!
I thought i would have gotten caught! I left the baloon animal on the shelf! XD
Ahh that was fun.
Moms actually happy with me lately. Finally lightend up and am finally happy for ounce!
She just is annoyed cause i decided to go all Ipod Human on her in the car..I SANG THE WHOLLEEE 30 MINUET RIDDEE!
Ahahaha!
Mom: ...Shut..up...please...ATLEAST SING A SONG IN ENGLISH!
Me: yongwone namgyojin narul chadnunga....Aww..Allright.."Sweat baby, sweat baby Sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff That only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants And I bet you'll feel n-"
Mom: NOT THAT SONG!
Frank: *Duying of laughter*
Today was a Great day, and am happy to get my ass outside for ounce!
Well. BYE BYE! n.n
Friday, April 4, 2008
Laugh at life
Ah..I was standing thier, in Target this lady was HILARIOUS!
I put up some clay and some markers on the cashregister.
and mom put up a drink, some paper and a case of pencils.
The lady goes.
"So, you two starting a special club where, one does clay, and the other draws, well later you switch off cause sharing is fun?"
Me and mom just stared laughing.
She looked about in her 20's or early 30's.
Really..she was funny. and verry nice.
she said.
"Im sick and tighred of people taking life way too seriously some times, you just need to really not somedays..it really makes life better, thats why im here, making jokes. i love to see people smile"
It really..REALLY...made me think.
Maybe shese right.
Dont take life too seriously sometimes.
go have fun.
Tho yeah, your only a kid ounce.
Dosent mean it could only be that Ounce.
Your still you. even if your 60
Plus, i just noticed alot on how i've been acting. i've been recording everything with my camera
watching it over at the end of the day.
Man, i gotta change.
I kind of wine over small things. and its kinda retarded lol.
well.
HAVE TO GO!
Bye bye!
I put up some clay and some markers on the cashregister.
and mom put up a drink, some paper and a case of pencils.
The lady goes.
"So, you two starting a special club where, one does clay, and the other draws, well later you switch off cause sharing is fun?"
Me and mom just stared laughing.
She looked about in her 20's or early 30's.
Really..she was funny. and verry nice.
she said.
"Im sick and tighred of people taking life way too seriously some times, you just need to really not somedays..it really makes life better, thats why im here, making jokes. i love to see people smile"
It really..REALLY...made me think.
Maybe shese right.
Dont take life too seriously sometimes.
go have fun.
Tho yeah, your only a kid ounce.
Dosent mean it could only be that Ounce.
Your still you. even if your 60
Plus, i just noticed alot on how i've been acting. i've been recording everything with my camera
watching it over at the end of the day.
Man, i gotta change.
I kind of wine over small things. and its kinda retarded lol.
well.
HAVE TO GO!
Bye bye!
LETS ALL DANCE!
Ahahaha!
Well..I had the most HILLARIOUS Day today!
I swear sometimes i actually thought i was drunk! (Never drink..Bout ounce..Hell all teenagers have) Or tighred! But dude, i wish i had my camera! I would have recorded all of it!
Well, the play for cinderella was going to start in my school.
my best buddy Nate whom i call Squishy. Is playing this neat singing role, and i really wish i had the money and attention span to watch it.
Well..I suck with cellphones sadly, and yet again, my new cellphone is DEMONISHED! Ounce i finally figured out how to use it too!
Ah well..So i decided to "steal" One of moms notebooks and pass it around to "Almost all" of my best friends.
OH SHIT!...I just remembered! I promiced i would call Momo back!
....*Looks around*
Ahh well..Hope she dosent kill me.
Oh yesh! Then..Luigi stole it..and LITERALLY...Made everyone write thier name and numbers in the book...I get it back, look at it..About...10 of the pages are full..cause he broke my pencil, so he used marker OF WICH! Everyone used to make GIAGANTIC NUMBERS! wow.
Well..My soshial studies class was fine..slept through that boredom ( Am such an awesome student i swear :D )
My teacher woke me up and made me read off this thing, from an soldier who had "Passed on" yeah..Let me get a Quote of it.
"May 26, 2007
WHAT THE HELL AMERICA??
Current mood: contemplative
Category: News and Politics
"What the hell happened?" any intelligent American might ask themselves throughout their day. While the ignorant, dragging themselves to thier closed off cubicle, contemplate the simple things in life such as "fast food tonight?" or "I wonder what motivated Brittany Spears to shave her unsightly, mishaped domepiece?" To the simpleton, this news might appear "devastating." A normal reply from this person consumed by pop culture consisting of "well, my problems seem trivial to the stars who's reputation as a has-been, no-talent is clearly at stake." Please.....if only life were that simple. I assume not everyone thinks this way, but from my little corner of the earth, Iraq, a spot in the world a majority of Americans could'nt point out on the map, it certainly appears so. This little piece of truly, heart-breaking news captured headlines and apparently American imaginations as FOX news did a two hour, truly enlightening piece of breaking news history. American veiwers watched intently, and impatiently as the pretty colors flashed and the media exposed the inner workings of Brittany's obviously, deep character.
I was amazed, truly dumbfounded wondering how we as Americans have sank so low. To all Americans I have but one phrase that helps me throughout my day of constant dangers and ever present death around the corner, "WHO THE FUCK CARES!" Wow America, we have truly become a nation of self-absorbed retards. I wish the world was in a state where everytime I stopped to scratch my balls it captured national headlines, but I'm a realist and consiquently think realistically. This world has serious problems and it's time for America to start addressing them.
Now, I like to think I'm a fairly intelligent individual.....is everyone else out there a shallow moron who takes everything for granted? Really, give me some glimmer of hope, some feedback on the common sense of America because I'm slowly but surely losing faith in the "American dream." What does this dream entail in my eyes? you might ask. Well, to tell the truth, I could'nt even begin to ponder that question...not anymore. The dream turned to a nightmare the minute idiosy took hold and put a death grip around the neck of common sense and reality. It's almost to the point where, from a real soldiers standpoint, I wonder on a constant basis what the hell I am fighting for? I mean really, we lose an average of four soldiers daily in some of the most grotesque, and grousome attacks imaginable......something I've seen first-hand on more than one occasion....and this is the best peice of news i get to chew on? Well thank you FOX, CNN, and all the other major media players......I have now lost at least 20 IQ points watching you ramble on about the petty problems of millionares. You can also chalk up about 3,000 brain cells, more than i lost in about five years of drug abuse, to watching your disgusting display of world news.
You don't however do stories on how capitalism effects third world countries, making our products from cheap, child labor, exploiting the rights of millions and run by the monsters of humanity. You don't show the effects of world trade on third world countries. You don't delve into how corporate America makes "contributions" in national elections swaying policy and regulations on world financial issues. You don't keep up on the men who steal working people's pensions and social security at the top of the corporate ladder. You don't cover how the inner city ghettos are made up of mostly minorities who are stuck in a desperate situation surrounded by drugs and murder, a very hard situation to get out of. You don't do stories on how crack cocaine, a drug used mostly by African-Americans, will get you more federal prison time as opposed to the same amount of cocaine (gram for gram), a drug widely used by Caucasions. You don't do stories on how fascism is on the rise in Europe. You do a piss poor job of relaying any peice of any story from iraq without a media "spin." Nor do I see stories about the 15,000 nuclear weapons, ICBM's (city killers) that the United States keeps as a "deterent"......funny that is enough firepower to blow up every major city and kill the world's population seven times over. And I have yet to see a story about the Project for a New American Century, which relies on the military and corporate takeover of the middle-east oil reserves.
Congratulations, you keep the masses ignorant and uninformed. You are truly a system that is a product of social conditions. A sickness on society.....the symptoms being "ignorant American", the diagnosis.................."terminal."
If only he was still alive, i swear. EVERYONE! Should read this dudes Message, because its true..And Rest in Peace Sgt. Ryan M. Wood. And thank you for writing this, Atleast someone finally gets to say.
Look..People are Dying every single, solitary day! People are FIGHTING for your FREEDOM to even watch those DAMN Shows like American Idol, and what ever you all like watching about.
Really, Ignorance is Bliss, but how does foolishness feel?
Well..I had the most HILLARIOUS Day today!
I swear sometimes i actually thought i was drunk! (Never drink..Bout ounce..Hell all teenagers have) Or tighred! But dude, i wish i had my camera! I would have recorded all of it!
Well, the play for cinderella was going to start in my school.
my best buddy Nate whom i call Squishy. Is playing this neat singing role, and i really wish i had the money and attention span to watch it.
Well..I suck with cellphones sadly, and yet again, my new cellphone is DEMONISHED! Ounce i finally figured out how to use it too!
Ah well..So i decided to "steal" One of moms notebooks and pass it around to "Almost all" of my best friends.
OH SHIT!...I just remembered! I promiced i would call Momo back!
....*Looks around*
Ahh well..Hope she dosent kill me.
Oh yesh! Then..Luigi stole it..and LITERALLY...Made everyone write thier name and numbers in the book...I get it back, look at it..About...10 of the pages are full..cause he broke my pencil, so he used marker OF WICH! Everyone used to make GIAGANTIC NUMBERS! wow.
Well..My soshial studies class was fine..slept through that boredom ( Am such an awesome student i swear :D )
My teacher woke me up and made me read off this thing, from an soldier who had "Passed on" yeah..Let me get a Quote of it.
"May 26, 2007
WHAT THE HELL AMERICA??
Current mood: contemplative
Category: News and Politics
"What the hell happened?" any intelligent American might ask themselves throughout their day. While the ignorant, dragging themselves to thier closed off cubicle, contemplate the simple things in life such as "fast food tonight?" or "I wonder what motivated Brittany Spears to shave her unsightly, mishaped domepiece?" To the simpleton, this news might appear "devastating." A normal reply from this person consumed by pop culture consisting of "well, my problems seem trivial to the stars who's reputation as a has-been, no-talent is clearly at stake." Please.....if only life were that simple. I assume not everyone thinks this way, but from my little corner of the earth, Iraq, a spot in the world a majority of Americans could'nt point out on the map, it certainly appears so. This little piece of truly, heart-breaking news captured headlines and apparently American imaginations as FOX news did a two hour, truly enlightening piece of breaking news history. American veiwers watched intently, and impatiently as the pretty colors flashed and the media exposed the inner workings of Brittany's obviously, deep character.
I was amazed, truly dumbfounded wondering how we as Americans have sank so low. To all Americans I have but one phrase that helps me throughout my day of constant dangers and ever present death around the corner, "WHO THE FUCK CARES!" Wow America, we have truly become a nation of self-absorbed retards. I wish the world was in a state where everytime I stopped to scratch my balls it captured national headlines, but I'm a realist and consiquently think realistically. This world has serious problems and it's time for America to start addressing them.
Now, I like to think I'm a fairly intelligent individual.....is everyone else out there a shallow moron who takes everything for granted? Really, give me some glimmer of hope, some feedback on the common sense of America because I'm slowly but surely losing faith in the "American dream." What does this dream entail in my eyes? you might ask. Well, to tell the truth, I could'nt even begin to ponder that question...not anymore. The dream turned to a nightmare the minute idiosy took hold and put a death grip around the neck of common sense and reality. It's almost to the point where, from a real soldiers standpoint, I wonder on a constant basis what the hell I am fighting for? I mean really, we lose an average of four soldiers daily in some of the most grotesque, and grousome attacks imaginable......something I've seen first-hand on more than one occasion....and this is the best peice of news i get to chew on? Well thank you FOX, CNN, and all the other major media players......I have now lost at least 20 IQ points watching you ramble on about the petty problems of millionares. You can also chalk up about 3,000 brain cells, more than i lost in about five years of drug abuse, to watching your disgusting display of world news.
You don't however do stories on how capitalism effects third world countries, making our products from cheap, child labor, exploiting the rights of millions and run by the monsters of humanity. You don't show the effects of world trade on third world countries. You don't delve into how corporate America makes "contributions" in national elections swaying policy and regulations on world financial issues. You don't keep up on the men who steal working people's pensions and social security at the top of the corporate ladder. You don't cover how the inner city ghettos are made up of mostly minorities who are stuck in a desperate situation surrounded by drugs and murder, a very hard situation to get out of. You don't do stories on how crack cocaine, a drug used mostly by African-Americans, will get you more federal prison time as opposed to the same amount of cocaine (gram for gram), a drug widely used by Caucasions. You don't do stories on how fascism is on the rise in Europe. You do a piss poor job of relaying any peice of any story from iraq without a media "spin." Nor do I see stories about the 15,000 nuclear weapons, ICBM's (city killers) that the United States keeps as a "deterent"......funny that is enough firepower to blow up every major city and kill the world's population seven times over. And I have yet to see a story about the Project for a New American Century, which relies on the military and corporate takeover of the middle-east oil reserves.
Congratulations, you keep the masses ignorant and uninformed. You are truly a system that is a product of social conditions. A sickness on society.....the symptoms being "ignorant American", the diagnosis.................."terminal."
If only he was still alive, i swear. EVERYONE! Should read this dudes Message, because its true..And Rest in Peace Sgt. Ryan M. Wood. And thank you for writing this, Atleast someone finally gets to say.
Look..People are Dying every single, solitary day! People are FIGHTING for your FREEDOM to even watch those DAMN Shows like American Idol, and what ever you all like watching about.
Really, Ignorance is Bliss, but how does foolishness feel?
Sorry for changing the subject yet AGAIN!
But yes. Heres the rest of my day.
Walking down the hallway, Ignoring the Rude stares from teddy when she Waltz by, like if i was Hitler out to kill some Jews with an Easy bake oven. I joked, laughed just had a Fantastic time.
I got bored as HELL in Science class..Couldent sleep, so i decided to put my backpack on the desk and play my DS...well..about 25 minuets into the "Ultimate chocobol game EVER!" MUSIC Starts blairing down the hallways, with people playing instuments, and playing songs like what Rosa's mother used to play whenever rosie was asleep or something.
Stupid black kid (I am not racist, i have ALOT of black and many MANY Different races of friends) Just had to stick his head out, acting like a teacher going "HEY! SHUT THAT MUSIC UP!"
Meh..whatever..After that, we whent to reading, but in my first period class i whent all Flamboyant Uke on Leara saying "SOO YOU ASKED PANDA OUT HMMMMM!!~~ <3">
Reading class..Panda told Rachel and Leara whent all "OMG" And decided to PUNCH Me in the bruse on my back.
Oh my FUCKING GOD! That hurt like FUCK!
well..We had a test. I Aced it cause it was about Romeo and Juilet..dude..i used to read that shit when i was like..10.
ah..When i left to go to my "Latin" class. The music people WERE BACK! They were following us all down the hallway..I was just going "Oh my god" in my head as i was trying to move and weave my way as fast as i could around the ASSHOLES And Ignorant people well trying not to trip over my own feet.
In latin, I just go to school to WASTE AIR Anyway, cause i make myself look like an Idiot on the placement tests so i can be a SUPERSTAR A+ SPED! Ahahaha!
Slept through my Latin class lol.
Drooled allover my desk.
At lunch, i sat with Luigi and panda, we had some cookies, and Derek came up. Dude..DEREK IS A HUGE BALL OF SUNSHINE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Ahahaha!
He calls me a mini me. and i call him a big me. lol
I love the boob thing. He goes "L! You know! if we squish our boobs together! our brain power would be totally one!" I just joined in hugging him to death! hese just so awesome!
I actually am settling shit with people! (Other then Teddy and Miranda, they can leap off a cliff and comitt suicide for all i care)
Like stacey, we actually talked today, and i almost ran down the hall screaming "RAPE SPIDER!" But i wanted to get Staceys DS Back for her..shese really nice, and yeah..i do feel like a Dick for listning to others before i actually got to talk to her myself.
I felt bad her cat became missing..so i stayed out for houres looking for him for her.
But good thing he came back on APRIL FOOLS DAY!
Lol..got to love it
after that, thier was a guy dressed as a box with a hat..He chased me and 5 other people down a hallway lol.
after lunch i whent to math, i usually HATE mr. legaults class..But guess WHAT!? SUBSTITUTE!
But he was a dick, so me and Zach decided to make little paper balls and flick them at him when he was not looking for the whole period.
Walking to my final class. Ian and me joked around, and did this dance lol.
Back in my class, Cate was thier, Yeah..Shese kinda my Girlfriend. So i gave her big hugs, AND I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS AN ACADEMY MEETING GODAMNIT!...Man..i swear..sence we started the academy, i've only been to about 4 meetings in total of the 20 lol.
I got into a aguement with my Fundimentals teacher, cause he was like.
"Hey..You know your grades on the board over thier"
I just leaned up from the monitor and said.
"Cool, thats awesome" *Thumbs up*
He got all pissy that i didnt go see. so he was saying how horrible i grew lol.
I just looked at him and whent
"Sweet, wanna say anything else, im kinda getting bored here"
Martini just looked at me, and the teachers face grew red.
I SWEAR! I thought i was either going to get killed right thier, OR! get a detention.
I got neither! cause i gave him gum!
Well..I joked around with Cate untill mom came to pick me up.
We have this statue called the Thinker, when i look at him, I always think hese a Dude, trying to take THE BIGGEST DUMP!
lol.
but..after i got home, I hung out with ben, he showed me a Para para..and he told me about some stuff with Misa and Teddy.
We WALKED...about 2 miles in BOREDOM!
One thing..NEVER DANCE when cars go by.
Me and ben..look like the BIGGEST EMO KIDS!..and we dance the macherena lol.
i swear! I havent laughed so hard in so long!
Then at the end..We just sat down, and watched cartoons.
Like camp Lazlo and Chowder..Oh my god i love chowder! that show is so funny! How they hate Fatness and Obecity being spread to children! AHAHAHAHA! Got to love it!
Well...Just noticed its...Hmm..3:51!
I GOT TO GET MY ASS TO BED! BYE!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Thinking again.
Song of the day: Little sparrow by dolly parton (About the only country song i like)
Movie of the day: No movie for today, best to relax
Color of the day: Soft yellow
I am still greatly sick..my chest always hurts, and it seems nothing is ever going to help me breathe correctly again, i rarely sleep, because the pain wakes me up at night, sometimes..it gets so horrible..i just keep vomiting non-stop..I sit thier every day, putting a fake smile on my face, and acting as if im not hurting.I see people walk by, that dont feel this pain..how they say how horrible thier life is, let them fel this pain.I sat and watched the sunrise with the window open, feeling the finally soft spring breeze drift its way and lightly trails its way acrost my face.the colors of the reds and yellows, illuminate the last stars dissapearing, making the distance look like a black ocean going out forever.the city seems quiet for ounce, like the times when the snow fell..standing outside, you could hear nothing, but the soft wispers of the dreams they held as they fell to lay down on the earth as a gentle white blanket.
People say all the time, how horrible this world is.They always talk about the horrible sides, and they take this place for granted.Some..hate this world so much, they decide to quilt thier life with lies, but sooner or later, it will crash aupon them.Or they attempt to turn to Religon, as in thought that thats all they need..to try to get by.
People get judged for who they are, one little word or thing, can stay with you forever.You say one thing, every secont becomes a glint of the past, and also in that secont, your life may have ended its story in a split secont.
Try to live..a year in silence, to see..the voice that this place is trying to show you.I dare you..to tell me that this world is not full of beautiful things.
This world is unexplainable, but even the smallest thing is breath taking.you just need to look at it in your own view, not in the view others make you.
I was grown up this way, To take life..To take it, and try my best, to live everyday, like it would be my last, and that if i have a dream, i wont allow to have anyone stand in my way, to look at everything in a perspective of my own, to follow my own path instead of others.
I know..I have done stupid things..I am still a kid, and being that..It's hard.
I go through friends..And i know i have.
Sometimes i get into arguements or fights, a while later, i actually sit down and think about it, and how dumb and stupid that whole thing was.YES you cannot take back words, and yeah..At times, a fist to the face is not as bad as words themselves.
I was always picked on as a kid, I was just the wierd one out of the bunch.Not knowing my father just made it worse for me, and also being afraid of everything, i used to live in silence, cause i just became afraid of people around me, i hated teachers, and i alwayd drew things duying in notebooks.I got made fun of for the way i sat,dressed,ate,held things,and also the reason why i stared at everyone.
After a while...When you really look at the insults, thier nothing.Yes, they do hurt..but after a while..your brain just makes you ignore the harassment.
Yeah, i know i cant keep the same subject for long.
But..i know the feeling.when you close our eyes, and you can hear..the importance of a whisper.how important family and friends are.to cherish each day and moment, cause really. Life is short, why waste it on things like arguements?I know the feeling..of having someone dear to you die, infront of you.
I have my regrets, but i shouldent allow them to hurt me my whole entire life.
I have..SID,Dyslexia,Insomnia,and Rhumitoid Authritis.Ask me what pain is, and i'll tell you.
I know, my life is not horrible as i discrbe, I have a loving family and friends, i eat everyday, and i have a roof over my head.But at times, i really Envy the people. Who look,act, and have a life, where they dont feel the pain i feel everyday, they have everything.But i dont want that, im happy with the life i have, and i really am happy that i am not spoiled like the other rotten people in this world.
Yeah,,Being forgotten can be worse then death itself, but, at times being forgotten can be best for you in certan circumstances.
I was watching telivison yesterday, and i remember them talking about how they can have you living till your 150..I dont want that, My body feels as if its 40 allready.Creaks,Aches,Stiffens..I allready need to have surgery on it because of my joints...
Me and my father..are almost identical, We have the same eyes,hair,girly body,hands,feet even our attitudes are similar.thogh i dont really know him at all, it scares my mother sometimes with the things i do.
Im actually thinking of taking a bath..Im really hurting alot.So long for now.
~Kohii (A.k.a) Chocobii
Movie of the day: No movie for today, best to relax
Color of the day: Soft yellow
I am still greatly sick..my chest always hurts, and it seems nothing is ever going to help me breathe correctly again, i rarely sleep, because the pain wakes me up at night, sometimes..it gets so horrible..i just keep vomiting non-stop..I sit thier every day, putting a fake smile on my face, and acting as if im not hurting.I see people walk by, that dont feel this pain..how they say how horrible thier life is, let them fel this pain.I sat and watched the sunrise with the window open, feeling the finally soft spring breeze drift its way and lightly trails its way acrost my face.the colors of the reds and yellows, illuminate the last stars dissapearing, making the distance look like a black ocean going out forever.the city seems quiet for ounce, like the times when the snow fell..standing outside, you could hear nothing, but the soft wispers of the dreams they held as they fell to lay down on the earth as a gentle white blanket.
People say all the time, how horrible this world is.They always talk about the horrible sides, and they take this place for granted.Some..hate this world so much, they decide to quilt thier life with lies, but sooner or later, it will crash aupon them.Or they attempt to turn to Religon, as in thought that thats all they need..to try to get by.
People get judged for who they are, one little word or thing, can stay with you forever.You say one thing, every secont becomes a glint of the past, and also in that secont, your life may have ended its story in a split secont.
Try to live..a year in silence, to see..the voice that this place is trying to show you.I dare you..to tell me that this world is not full of beautiful things.
This world is unexplainable, but even the smallest thing is breath taking.you just need to look at it in your own view, not in the view others make you.
I was grown up this way, To take life..To take it, and try my best, to live everyday, like it would be my last, and that if i have a dream, i wont allow to have anyone stand in my way, to look at everything in a perspective of my own, to follow my own path instead of others.
I know..I have done stupid things..I am still a kid, and being that..It's hard.
I go through friends..And i know i have.
Sometimes i get into arguements or fights, a while later, i actually sit down and think about it, and how dumb and stupid that whole thing was.YES you cannot take back words, and yeah..At times, a fist to the face is not as bad as words themselves.
I was always picked on as a kid, I was just the wierd one out of the bunch.Not knowing my father just made it worse for me, and also being afraid of everything, i used to live in silence, cause i just became afraid of people around me, i hated teachers, and i alwayd drew things duying in notebooks.I got made fun of for the way i sat,dressed,ate,held things,and also the reason why i stared at everyone.
After a while...When you really look at the insults, thier nothing.Yes, they do hurt..but after a while..your brain just makes you ignore the harassment.
Yeah, i know i cant keep the same subject for long.
But..i know the feeling.when you close our eyes, and you can hear..the importance of a whisper.how important family and friends are.to cherish each day and moment, cause really. Life is short, why waste it on things like arguements?I know the feeling..of having someone dear to you die, infront of you.
I have my regrets, but i shouldent allow them to hurt me my whole entire life.
I have..SID,Dyslexia,Insomnia,and Rhumitoid Authritis.Ask me what pain is, and i'll tell you.
I know, my life is not horrible as i discrbe, I have a loving family and friends, i eat everyday, and i have a roof over my head.But at times, i really Envy the people. Who look,act, and have a life, where they dont feel the pain i feel everyday, they have everything.But i dont want that, im happy with the life i have, and i really am happy that i am not spoiled like the other rotten people in this world.
Yeah,,Being forgotten can be worse then death itself, but, at times being forgotten can be best for you in certan circumstances.
I was watching telivison yesterday, and i remember them talking about how they can have you living till your 150..I dont want that, My body feels as if its 40 allready.Creaks,Aches,Stiffens..I allready need to have surgery on it because of my joints...
Me and my father..are almost identical, We have the same eyes,hair,girly body,hands,feet even our attitudes are similar.thogh i dont really know him at all, it scares my mother sometimes with the things i do.
Im actually thinking of taking a bath..Im really hurting alot.So long for now.
~Kohii (A.k.a) Chocobii
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