alot of things.

Song of the day: Super Junior-Miracle
Movie of the day: No movie for today n.n
Food of the day: No food either!
Color of the day: sunshine orange

I have been getting worse. and i feel its my mind coming back on me.
Ah, yes i know..i have done stupid shit in my past.
And i kind of want to fix it.
Ya know?
Yeah i am an asshole. now just let me say im fucking sorry, stop saying the fake bullshit about me and lets get on with life cause i can hear every word.

other then that.
am kind of happy.
Teddy moved away.
Miranda broke her arm.
..Bout it lol (im such an ass)

am going to the hospital more and more, i weigh 93 pounds now and i throw up when i eat.
The nightmares wont stop, thier all about my past friends.

Chrystal: She just used me till our last day of being friends..never saw her again.

Steven: He just left

Rosa: hates me and i know it cause she put a hit out on me and came over with her father to threaten me for something i didnt even do.

Danita: We were close friends till she met Teddy..sence she heard the fake lies teddy said she must be saying shit about me constantly now.

Teddy: sence i didnt go out with her she fucking wants to piledrive my head in.

Miranda: i finally broke up with her and shese pissed about it and wants to somehow make me jealous or something.

Stacey: she said i had sex with jake to everyone..and i never did only dated the dude for not even a week!!

kiki: she made up shit about me, prank called me, hacked me and still does till this godamned day! JUST BECAUSE I TOLD HER NOT TO GO WITH THIS 20 YEAR OLD ONLINE DUDE SHE MET!.

Yeah, all these people keep popping up in my dreams constantly.
making my life like hell.
Would you all stop it!
get the fuck over it! stop bringing me up!
and what the hell.

sick and tighred of it!!

ah well.
i need to lay down..my chest is killing me.

Bye again.

Song of the day: I've just seen a face By. The beetles
Movie of the day: Great Yokai war
Food of the day: Banana
Color of the day: light Green

Well lets start this with, I hope today will be great!
lately whenever i visit franks place i get bombarded with buzzers from Teddy or Axl. saying they want thier Gamecube back??
I dont even remember even getting a gamecube from them but whatever.
she was the one who has been saying shit about me, and she even threatend me in public! PLUS SHE DIDNT ASK NICELY!
If i even HAD the gamecube, I wouldent give it back just cause how much of a Bitch she was.
Other then the negativity.
I've been sicker then anything recently, I felt as if im just a Potatoe sitting on the coutch wallowing in self pity.
Cause the new medication they put me on makes me that way for a few days.
Vomiting,Coughing to death,Weezing,Cant eat anything.
I lost 4 pounds in a week, But finally re-gained my strength saturday!
(Thank gods! tho i look like a walking skeliton) and Mom decided for me to get some fresh air, so we whent to WK Castle.
I brought my camera along and took some photos.
of wich are not uploading for me for some reaassoonn..
but ahh well, i'll try later then.
Other then that, I got to go over dads house, they had a Bombfire.
And i hung out in the recording studio for a few till John came.
I would stay in, but they play way too loud. Plus John really cant sing worth crap (not being mean, the guys major cool)
i stayed that night, cause my medication made me passout on my stepsisters bed onaxident when i was reading her a book lol.
i woke up around 4:00 in the morning.
Walked around the house..Puked...And just turned on the TV...no cabel..damnit..Lol so i had to watch the little Vampire on DVD.
not bad, am fine with it.
cute movie.
got kinda bored and just waited till everyone woke up.
After that me and My step sister amanda goofed around with my laptop (it NEVER gets wireless connection way up where dad lives)
and found that my computer has pictures on it that came with it lol.
then i helped dad around the yard with the brush and trees that got in the way.
Killed my chest from that.
so when we got back home, i just sat thier.
and all of a sudden.
THIERS THE BUZZER FOR THE DAMN GAMECUBE!
We ignored it.
and i just whent to bed.

Okay i need to get off.
I have to take a shower, and i have a doctors appointment for bloodwork,catscan,Xray and a ultrasound to see whats wrong with my chest (Like the other post, the doctors posponed it to today)
Bye now!

You can't control the unknown.

Song of the day: Super Junior - Wonder Boy
Movie of the day: No movie again n.n
Food of the day: Penutbutter and fluff sandwitch yum.
Color of the day: sky blue

Walking out into the dew scented air smiling with my head held high.
"This is going to be a GREAT DAY!"
As so i thought.
Well, heres my day.
I know we cant controll the unknown, nor can go back in time to say we are sorry when we know we cant be forgiven.
But..atleast we say were sorry from the bottom of our hearts instead of saying nothing at all.
I have kept, every single, solitary secret..And never told anyone, and i will keep every one Untill the day i die..because those secrets will leave with my memories in the wind.
The pain in my chest wont stop..i feel majorly numb constantly...and..i hate seeing mom cry..I can never sleep, and when she walked into the bathroom i herd something.
So i just tip-toed up to the door to listen..she was crying..
I feel like an asshole for i dont know.
Were always smiling..
i never ever said anything horrible or ever yelled at her..i dont know whats wrong.
But we whent to the hospital today.
the doctors put me on more medication...and I found out..
Im loosing weight like no tomorrow..
Im supposed to weigh..110.
But i weigh 102 now..and used to weigh 106.
thats not good.
Still, the harrassment wont stop..But..it happens, and i feel as if i deserve it.
If it is heart problems..then i might not live long..
Its okay...Atleast..if anyone asks what has happend..or anything.
Just say..
"I died"
And i hate it when people drag along in depression..i dont want that..just be happy..
thats all i want..i just want to see everyone happy.

Im going to the hospital tomorrow for Blood work, Cat scan, and some other testings i forgot what they were called, but one of them is jamming a tube down my throaght.
jeeze...im only 14...Why must i go through this?
well..My medicine is kicking in..am feeling myself slowly falling asleep as i write this.
Well..Got to go now.
Bye n.n

*duying of laughter*

Well..My chest isint getting any better, but i actually had a good day for ounce!

I've been laughing constantly for no reason lol.

well. I got to see ben today, and these kids thought we were gay cause we were hugging eachother and acting like flamboyant people on purpouse XD

We did the usuall..Walk around...sit somewhere random and talk about whatever the hell is in our brains.

Get online and we kinda had a messed up discussion..and such..
not gona talk about it.

but yeah n.n
Atleast i got to say im sorry to misa.
tho i know she hates my guts and she'd never forgive me.
Oh well..Just gona give her space. Am moving anyway lol so am gona be out of her life for good and that'll make her happy.

OH YEAH! My friend sent me the most hillarious final fantasy video!
Watch it or i kill you with hugs...lol







WELL, I GOT TO GO NOW! HAHAHA BYE!

Everyone, lets have a BULLSHIT DAY!~

Song of the day: Insanity by Oingo Boingo
Food of the day: Chilli pepper
Color of the day: BLACK

I have not slept in two days now cause the pain in my chest is unbearable.
Found out that mom and frank are looking at houses in Florida instead of nevada.
i decided just to stay online to relax..cause i really hate it, Thier going to move, and when that happens, i'd be dragged along and be that "Wierd new kid" All over again.
Sucks enough.
am just sitting thier again, untill i get a verry rude IM from this random person who thought i was someone else, think the guys name was jim or something..kind of cant remember much cause im running on empty here and the pains verry distracting.
THEN...my E-mail gets hacked, and i re-created a new one but everyone on that list all got sent to the new screename, un noticing any problem i just whent along talking to my friends about the day and such.
the kids are annoying..i have to babysit them today cause frank needs to go buy more cigaretts, Im to afraid to even go outside..
Think im coming down with an eating disorder..I havent eaten for 3 days now..and whenever i try to eat at all i just vomit it up and its horrible.
Try to sleep but thiers nightmares.
too weak to do anything..
just sitting here typing.
want to sleep..
also..I keep getting rude Im's from people.
Even an "Old friend" Not going to tell you whom the person is, nor what they have said, because thats rude.
so far 3 rude Im's from people and two were Accidental.
one was just a coincidence cause they should have just blocked me or ignored cause i wouldent even message them anyway for they really stabbed me in the back and shatterd my feelings in one single blow the first time.
I really got to go.
Akaash hit Shaan in the eye with a toy car..
bye.

AHHH FANGIRLS RUN!

Song of the day:Shake It by Rediscover
Food of the day: Leechee
Color of the day: Violet

Okay! Today Frank took me and my mom up to a food place called RedBones up on a part of boston, My cousin wanted to do my hair so i let her, she put the back half up but down, styled it guy-ish and fixed the front of my hair.
Yeah Blonde and black hair, I wore my Purple and black striped shirt with the Black skull trenchcoat.

I brought my camera so i could record it all BUT SADLY it died right when i got thier, so i decided to be annoying! XD
We whent and made our reservations..thier was a 1 hour wait so we decided to walk around.
thier was this kid walking back and forth eating an icecream on this pillar thing, i ran up to him.
He looked at me and i said "HEY! You know where the pride convenction is? cause you look like someone who would know?" he looks at me and walks off laughing.
I danced around people. And skipped through this park, these emo kids were looking at me, with wierd stares.

And when i finally calmed down. we were waiting to cross the street, and all of a sudden, this girl in a naruto shirt, 2 aisan girls with a guy holding a sasuke plushie goes.
"OH MY GOD ITS JOEY!"
First of all..I dont look like him.
Nor are we the even same age or anything.
Mom and frank are WAY ahead looking at this store, so i just Book it lol.
tripped over this tree stump thing and mom laughes at me.

Then..Me and mom decide to be dorks and make fun of every person we see XD
Mom points at this aisan guy and goes.
"Oh my god its Jackey chan!" I reply "They all look like him dude"
Frank just looked at us like (Oh god what have i gotten myself into)
THIER WAS THE MOST STEROTIPICAL WHITE GUY I HAVE EVER SEEN!
With the sweater vest.
so white, he makes salt look black XD.

Okay i really need to stop with the racial jokes! Ahahaha!

BUT THIER WAS THIS HOT AISAN GUY!
Looked like Jae joong mixed with Heechul *drools* he had glasses..a tux..cute blue tie..and these thick rimmed glasseesss...*Fanboy squee*
*Cough*
And this cute girl!
I was sitting on this park bench looking at this stupid pigon walking around in circles as mom and frank read this statue..She stands next to where i was sitting, walks over, smiles at me..She looked like abby...but with short hair..and the same cute smile..she looked so adorable..maybe just out of colledge..she smiles, takes out a camera, does that "Chibi" stand holding the camera with both hands adorably,leans down and takes a picture of the pigon.
lol.
she just kept looking at me, i waved to her, she waved back and we both walked our seperate ways.

it was about time to start heading back to the food place, and well we were walking back, these ambulances and fire trucks and police cars zoom by. Someone got hit by a car.
Scary
And ater they left, when we were walking back through the park..ALOT of people kept looking at me. i felt so uncomfortable.

when we made it back to the food place, i just sat on the sidewalk cause we had 10 more minuets to wait, this LADY! With blonde hair kept looking at me..then she'd look away for a sec..then go back to STAIRING at me.
jesus..TAKE A PICTUE WHY DONT YA!?

Oh yeah! this place was SO COOL!
It was louder then a Bar, but everything was WOW!
Paintings everywhere! on the celing! everything!
it was all black and flouresent! So AWEOSME!
And guess who was the table next to me?
THAT HOT AISAN GUY!..and the adorable girl lol with a CRAPLOAD Of other people. They sang happy Birthday in..I think Korean?
I stuffed up on so much FOOD it was not even funny! thought i was gonna explode!
But after we left we whent to Stop and shop.
I danced down the isles like a moron making faces in the cameras. Found the condoms section, opend a box and made a Baloon animal out of this mint one Ahahahaha!
Thier was about noone thier! sence it was closing time lol!
I thought i would have gotten caught! I left the baloon animal on the shelf! XD

Ahh that was fun.
Moms actually happy with me lately. Finally lightend up and am finally happy for ounce!
She just is annoyed cause i decided to go all Ipod Human on her in the car..I SANG THE WHOLLEEE 30 MINUET RIDDEE!
Ahahaha!

Mom: ...Shut..up...please...ATLEAST SING A SONG IN ENGLISH!
Me: yongwone namgyojin narul chadnunga....Aww..Allright.."Sweat baby, sweat baby Sex is a Texas drought Me and you do the kind of stuff That only Prince would sing about So put your hands down my pants And I bet you'll feel n-"
Mom: NOT THAT SONG!
Frank: *Duying of laughter*

Today was a Great day, and am happy to get my ass outside for ounce!
Well. BYE BYE! n.n

Laugh at life

Ah..I was standing thier, in Target this lady was HILARIOUS!
I put up some clay and some markers on the cashregister.
and mom put up a drink, some paper and a case of pencils.
The lady goes.
"So, you two starting a special club where, one does clay, and the other draws, well later you switch off cause sharing is fun?"
Me and mom just stared laughing.
She looked about in her 20's or early 30's.
Really..she was funny. and verry nice.
she said.
"Im sick and tighred of people taking life way too seriously some times, you just need to really not somedays..it really makes life better, thats why im here, making jokes. i love to see people smile"
It really..REALLY...made me think.
Maybe shese right.
Dont take life too seriously sometimes.
go have fun.
Tho yeah, your only a kid ounce.
Dosent mean it could only be that Ounce.
Your still you. even if your 60
Plus, i just noticed alot on how i've been acting. i've been recording everything with my camera
watching it over at the end of the day.
Man, i gotta change.
I kind of wine over small things. and its kinda retarded lol.
well.
HAVE TO GO!
Bye bye!

LETS ALL DANCE!

Ahahaha!
Well..I had the most HILLARIOUS Day today!
I swear sometimes i actually thought i was drunk! (Never drink..Bout ounce..Hell all teenagers have) Or tighred! But dude, i wish i had my camera! I would have recorded all of it!
Well, the play for cinderella was going to start in my school.
my best buddy Nate whom i call Squishy. Is playing this neat singing role, and i really wish i had the money and attention span to watch it.
Well..I suck with cellphones sadly, and yet again, my new cellphone is DEMONISHED! Ounce i finally figured out how to use it too!
Ah well..So i decided to "steal" One of moms notebooks and pass it around to "Almost all" of my best friends.
OH SHIT!...I just remembered! I promiced i would call Momo back!
....*Looks around*
Ahh well..Hope she dosent kill me.
Oh yesh! Then..Luigi stole it..and LITERALLY...Made everyone write thier name and numbers in the book...I get it back, look at it..About...10 of the pages are full..cause he broke my pencil, so he used marker OF WICH! Everyone used to make GIAGANTIC NUMBERS! wow.
Well..My soshial studies class was fine..slept through that boredom ( Am such an awesome student i swear :D )
My teacher woke me up and made me read off this thing, from an soldier who had "Passed on" yeah..Let me get a Quote of it.

"May 26, 2007
WHAT THE HELL AMERICA??
Current mood: contemplative
Category: News and Politics
"What the hell happened?" any intelligent American might ask themselves throughout their day. While the ignorant, dragging themselves to thier closed off cubicle, contemplate the simple things in life such as "fast food tonight?" or "I wonder what motivated Brittany Spears to shave her unsightly, mishaped domepiece?" To the simpleton, this news might appear "devastating." A normal reply from this person consumed by pop culture consisting of "well, my problems seem trivial to the stars who's reputation as a has-been, no-talent is clearly at stake." Please.....if only life were that simple. I assume not everyone thinks this way, but from my little corner of the earth, Iraq, a spot in the world a majority of Americans could'nt point out on the map, it certainly appears so. This little piece of truly, heart-breaking news captured headlines and apparently American imaginations as FOX news did a two hour, truly enlightening piece of breaking news history. American veiwers watched intently, and impatiently as the pretty colors flashed and the media exposed the inner workings of Brittany's obviously, deep character.
I was amazed, truly dumbfounded wondering how we as Americans have sank so low. To all Americans I have but one phrase that helps me throughout my day of constant dangers and ever present death around the corner, "WHO THE FUCK CARES!" Wow America, we have truly become a nation of self-absorbed retards. I wish the world was in a state where everytime I stopped to scratch my balls it captured national headlines, but I'm a realist and consiquently think realistically. This world has serious problems and it's time for America to start addressing them.
Now, I like to think I'm a fairly intelligent individual.....is everyone else out there a shallow moron who takes everything for granted? Really, give me some glimmer of hope, some feedback on the common sense of America because I'm slowly but surely losing faith in the "American dream." What does this dream entail in my eyes? you might ask. Well, to tell the truth, I could'nt even begin to ponder that question...not anymore. The dream turned to a nightmare the minute idiosy took hold and put a death grip around the neck of common sense and reality. It's almost to the point where, from a real soldiers standpoint, I wonder on a constant basis what the hell I am fighting for? I mean really, we lose an average of four soldiers daily in some of the most grotesque, and grousome attacks imaginable......something I've seen first-hand on more than one occasion....and this is the best peice of news i get to chew on? Well thank you FOX, CNN, and all the other major media players......I have now lost at least 20 IQ points watching you ramble on about the petty problems of millionares. You can also chalk up about 3,000 brain cells, more than i lost in about five years of drug abuse, to watching your disgusting display of world news.
You don't however do stories on how capitalism effects third world countries, making our products from cheap, child labor, exploiting the rights of millions and run by the monsters of humanity. You don't show the effects of world trade on third world countries. You don't delve into how corporate America makes "contributions" in national elections swaying policy and regulations on world financial issues. You don't keep up on the men who steal working people's pensions and social security at the top of the corporate ladder. You don't cover how the inner city ghettos are made up of mostly minorities who are stuck in a desperate situation surrounded by drugs and murder, a very hard situation to get out of. You don't do stories on how crack cocaine, a drug used mostly by African-Americans, will get you more federal prison time as opposed to the same amount of cocaine (gram for gram), a drug widely used by Caucasions. You don't do stories on how fascism is on the rise in Europe. You do a piss poor job of relaying any peice of any story from iraq without a media "spin." Nor do I see stories about the 15,000 nuclear weapons, ICBM's (city killers) that the United States keeps as a "deterent"......funny that is enough firepower to blow up every major city and kill the world's population seven times over. And I have yet to see a story about the Project for a New American Century, which relies on the military and corporate takeover of the middle-east oil reserves.
Congratulations, you keep the masses ignorant and uninformed. You are truly a system that is a product of social conditions. A sickness on society.....the symptoms being "ignorant American", the diagnosis.................."terminal."

If only he was still alive, i swear. EVERYONE! Should read this dudes Message, because its true..And Rest in Peace Sgt. Ryan M. Wood. And thank you for writing this, Atleast someone finally gets to say.
Look..People are Dying every single, solitary day! People are FIGHTING for your FREEDOM to even watch those DAMN Shows like American Idol, and what ever you all like watching about.
Really, Ignorance is Bliss, but how does foolishness feel?

Sorry for changing the subject yet AGAIN!

But yes. Heres the rest of my day.

Walking down the hallway, Ignoring the Rude stares from teddy when she Waltz by, like if i was Hitler out to kill some Jews with an Easy bake oven. I joked, laughed just had a Fantastic time.

I got bored as HELL in Science class..Couldent sleep, so i decided to put my backpack on the desk and play my DS...well..about 25 minuets into the "Ultimate chocobol game EVER!" MUSIC Starts blairing down the hallways, with people playing instuments, and playing songs like what Rosa's mother used to play whenever rosie was asleep or something.

Stupid black kid (I am not racist, i have ALOT of black and many MANY Different races of friends) Just had to stick his head out, acting like a teacher going "HEY! SHUT THAT MUSIC UP!"

Meh..whatever..After that, we whent to reading, but in my first period class i whent all Flamboyant Uke on Leara saying "SOO YOU ASKED PANDA OUT HMMMMM!!~~ <3">

Reading class..Panda told Rachel and Leara whent all "OMG" And decided to PUNCH Me in the bruse on my back.

Oh my FUCKING GOD! That hurt like FUCK!

well..We had a test. I Aced it cause it was about Romeo and Juilet..dude..i used to read that shit when i was like..10.

ah..When i left to go to my "Latin" class. The music people WERE BACK! They were following us all down the hallway..I was just going "Oh my god" in my head as i was trying to move and weave my way as fast as i could around the ASSHOLES And Ignorant people well trying not to trip over my own feet.

In latin, I just go to school to WASTE AIR Anyway, cause i make myself look like an Idiot on the placement tests so i can be a SUPERSTAR A+ SPED! Ahahaha!

Slept through my Latin class lol.

Drooled allover my desk.

At lunch, i sat with Luigi and panda, we had some cookies, and Derek came up. Dude..DEREK IS A HUGE BALL OF SUNSHINE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH! Ahahaha!

He calls me a mini me. and i call him a big me. lol

I love the boob thing. He goes "L! You know! if we squish our boobs together! our brain power would be totally one!" I just joined in hugging him to death! hese just so awesome!

I actually am settling shit with people! (Other then Teddy and Miranda, they can leap off a cliff and comitt suicide for all i care)

Like stacey, we actually talked today, and i almost ran down the hall screaming "RAPE SPIDER!" But i wanted to get Staceys DS Back for her..shese really nice, and yeah..i do feel like a Dick for listning to others before i actually got to talk to her myself.

I felt bad her cat became missing..so i stayed out for houres looking for him for her.

But good thing he came back on APRIL FOOLS DAY!

Lol..got to love it

after that, thier was a guy dressed as a box with a hat..He chased me and 5 other people down a hallway lol.

after lunch i whent to math, i usually HATE mr. legaults class..But guess WHAT!? SUBSTITUTE!

But he was a dick, so me and Zach decided to make little paper balls and flick them at him when he was not looking for the whole period.

Walking to my final class. Ian and me joked around, and did this dance lol.

Back in my class, Cate was thier, Yeah..Shese kinda my Girlfriend. So i gave her big hugs, AND I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS AN ACADEMY MEETING GODAMNIT!...Man..i swear..sence we started the academy, i've only been to about 4 meetings in total of the 20 lol.

I got into a aguement with my Fundimentals teacher, cause he was like.

"Hey..You know your grades on the board over thier"

I just leaned up from the monitor and said.

"Cool, thats awesome" *Thumbs up*

He got all pissy that i didnt go see. so he was saying how horrible i grew lol.

I just looked at him and whent

"Sweet, wanna say anything else, im kinda getting bored here"

Martini just looked at me, and the teachers face grew red.

I SWEAR! I thought i was either going to get killed right thier, OR! get a detention.

I got neither! cause i gave him gum!

Well..I joked around with Cate untill mom came to pick me up.

We have this statue called the Thinker, when i look at him, I always think hese a Dude, trying to take THE BIGGEST DUMP!

lol.

but..after i got home, I hung out with ben, he showed me a Para para..and he told me about some stuff with Misa and Teddy.

We WALKED...about 2 miles in BOREDOM!

One thing..NEVER DANCE when cars go by.

Me and ben..look like the BIGGEST EMO KIDS!..and we dance the macherena lol.

i swear! I havent laughed so hard in so long!

Then at the end..We just sat down, and watched cartoons.

Like camp Lazlo and Chowder..Oh my god i love chowder! that show is so funny! How they hate Fatness and Obecity being spread to children! AHAHAHAHA! Got to love it!

Well...Just noticed its...Hmm..3:51!

I GOT TO GET MY ASS TO BED! BYE!

Thinking again.

Song of the day: Little sparrow by dolly parton (About the only country song i like)
Movie of the day: No movie for today, best to relax
Color of the day: Soft yellow

I am still greatly sick..my chest always hurts, and it seems nothing is ever going to help me breathe correctly again, i rarely sleep, because the pain wakes me up at night, sometimes..it gets so horrible..i just keep vomiting non-stop..I sit thier every day, putting a fake smile on my face, and acting as if im not hurting.I see people walk by, that dont feel this pain..how they say how horrible thier life is, let them fel this pain.I sat and watched the sunrise with the window open, feeling the finally soft spring breeze drift its way and lightly trails its way acrost my face.the colors of the reds and yellows, illuminate the last stars dissapearing, making the distance look like a black ocean going out forever.the city seems quiet for ounce, like the times when the snow fell..standing outside, you could hear nothing, but the soft wispers of the dreams they held as they fell to lay down on the earth as a gentle white blanket.
People say all the time, how horrible this world is.They always talk about the horrible sides, and they take this place for granted.Some..hate this world so much, they decide to quilt thier life with lies, but sooner or later, it will crash aupon them.Or they attempt to turn to Religon, as in thought that thats all they need..to try to get by.
People get judged for who they are, one little word or thing, can stay with you forever.You say one thing, every secont becomes a glint of the past, and also in that secont, your life may have ended its story in a split secont.
Try to live..a year in silence, to see..the voice that this place is trying to show you.I dare you..to tell me that this world is not full of beautiful things.
This world is unexplainable, but even the smallest thing is breath taking.you just need to look at it in your own view, not in the view others make you.
I was grown up this way, To take life..To take it, and try my best, to live everyday, like it would be my last, and that if i have a dream, i wont allow to have anyone stand in my way, to look at everything in a perspective of my own, to follow my own path instead of others.
I know..I have done stupid things..I am still a kid, and being that..It's hard.
I go through friends..And i know i have.
Sometimes i get into arguements or fights, a while later, i actually sit down and think about it, and how dumb and stupid that whole thing was.YES you cannot take back words, and yeah..At times, a fist to the face is not as bad as words themselves.
I was always picked on as a kid, I was just the wierd one out of the bunch.Not knowing my father just made it worse for me, and also being afraid of everything, i used to live in silence, cause i just became afraid of people around me, i hated teachers, and i alwayd drew things duying in notebooks.I got made fun of for the way i sat,dressed,ate,held things,and also the reason why i stared at everyone.
After a while...When you really look at the insults, thier nothing.Yes, they do hurt..but after a while..your brain just makes you ignore the harassment.
Yeah, i know i cant keep the same subject for long.
But..i know the feeling.when you close our eyes, and you can hear..the importance of a whisper.how important family and friends are.to cherish each day and moment, cause really. Life is short, why waste it on things like arguements?I know the feeling..of having someone dear to you die, infront of you.
I have my regrets, but i shouldent allow them to hurt me my whole entire life.
I have..SID,Dyslexia,Insomnia,and Rhumitoid Authritis.Ask me what pain is, and i'll tell you.
I know, my life is not horrible as i discrbe, I have a loving family and friends, i eat everyday, and i have a roof over my head.But at times, i really Envy the people. Who look,act, and have a life, where they dont feel the pain i feel everyday, they have everything.But i dont want that, im happy with the life i have, and i really am happy that i am not spoiled like the other rotten people in this world.
Yeah,,Being forgotten can be worse then death itself, but, at times being forgotten can be best for you in certan circumstances.
I was watching telivison yesterday, and i remember them talking about how they can have you living till your 150..I dont want that, My body feels as if its 40 allready.Creaks,Aches,Stiffens..I allready need to have surgery on it because of my joints...
Me and my father..are almost identical, We have the same eyes,hair,girly body,hands,feet even our attitudes are similar.thogh i dont really know him at all, it scares my mother sometimes with the things i do.
Im actually thinking of taking a bath..Im really hurting alot.So long for now.
~Kohii (A.k.a) Chocobii

Crazy sunshine~

Song of the day: Crazy sunshine-The Pillows
Movie of the day: My neighbor totoro
Color of the day: Sky blue
Food of the day: Boo berry cerial

Well, I really have not updated,I'm kind of banned from the computer ahahaha.
WELL!
I kept getting these threats of people saying their going to jump me and stab me, ahh..metal, not good.
Well, My friends kept calling me and telling me not to go to school, BECAUSE of that reason.
Teddy got herself suspended from school, well mom and I went over to Rosa's to talk about the situation...
AND..it was teddy taking people's words out of CONTEXT Yet again.
Well..We have everything settled (So far)
And i finally have been having better days.
And if anyone comes up to me and goes "I TOLD YOU SO" I will beat them to a fucking pulp ahahaha.
Literally!
Well, im happier then anything, I get to see my favorite cousin, AND! Where moving.
NOT TELLING YOU WHERE~
Cause i don't want you stalking me.
Nice Sunday morning, no clouds in the sky, perfect weather..THE SNOWS FINALLY MELTING!
I'm getting the plane tickets soon to go to Mississippi to visit Granny, and Chris.
Am sitting here with my ripped jeans, special hat and my mickey mouse shirt on. (yeah..childish)
I'm REALLY SICK AND TIRED! Of having to sleep on Franks LUMPY ASS COUCH!
My back is KILLING ME!
But its alright..
Im rather worried about Aubrey..
alot..
I cant say why..But really...
And i found out all the people that want to Date me..and i just want to be..Single?
Kind of hate dating people..I don't know how to react to hugs..nor anything.
And i don't even have any feeling of Ohhh i care about you a lot.

ALSO...Thinking again.
I was sitting their, and looking at these kids, I was pushing Akaash on the swing and some kids wanted me to push them too on swings..Its kind of funny how small and..weird children are..
They grow up by the ways their parents treat them..
And people are just so weird..How your mind is a THIN line from..Stupidity/insanity..and Intelligence
And when your a teenager, your still considered a kid.
And Immaturity is not counted..Because..when your a teenager..you just need to learn what to say when to say it and act when to act..theirs moments to act like a spaz...and theirs moments where not too.
How funny and stupid i see people older then me making themselves think OH their so smart, But their not.
They think that just because i'm younger then them, that they can think of what im going to think or say..but you know what, their wrong, LONG WRONG!

Im going to winnie kinne castle today, its so much fun..
real castle built here..IN OUR CITY!
Im going their with Aubrey,Rui,Momo and Sanji.
yeah..all girls...so what? Where going to just plainly run around.
im bringing a basket of food and snacks, duck umbrella,my digital camera, and a Frisbee
cant wait. Where gona go hiking and running..and just stupid stuff..
its actually kind of warm out today, so it might dry up soon.
Allright moms going to wake up soon, and im sneaking on.
BYYEE!.

Hate site?

Oh wow.
Okay, just got off the phone with Aubrey.
Ohkay.
All my calculations were correct about Teddys Immature plan.
She said that Miranda, said that I have created a HATE SITE, About misa.
First thing.
I would never do that to misa or anyone, even if they murdered my family.
I have had that happen to me, so Two wrongs dont make a right.
But i really am Dying of laughter that she actually STOOPED AS LOW! As to grab Miranda and people who HAVE NO RIGHT to be in this VERRY OLD situation.
Grow up, You allready IMBARRASSED yourself in public, And really.
I didnt do anything to you, so shut up.
you thinking my BLOG is the hate site?
If so, i have NO OTHER SITE!
So now, i have had it with your immaturity.
really,grow up.
Stop dragging people who have NO RIGHT To be in this.

Dunkin Donuts

Lol, getting sick again. sheesh.
Well Aubrey woke me up at 4:00 in the morning to ask me whats gona be up, Oi..i finally get myself to sleep and she has to wake me, but yeah, i talked to her, and about what Dani told me so i just told her i was gona go that afternoon to talk to Misa.
had a great time, got to sleep in till 10:00 and mom bought me some Dunkin Donuts.
I got to hang out with my friends, and we laughed alot in Computer class.
Mario kept on using the LOL Button, over and over, with Ms word, Over and over and over..just holding the buttons down, me, christos, and two other people look over from typing and just see his screen with HUGE! CAPITALIZED! LOL'S! Zipping its way down the screen. And you know how it tells you how many pages you typed right? Well it became so far, that when the bell rang to go to lunch, it became to 569 pages! ahahaha! that was hillarious.
Well, at lunch i was stanging thier, and Kate and squishy, Inu and the guy i call Luigi came up, Kate offered to go inside the Cafe and get some Cookies, so i whent "Yeah lets go"
untill Teddy waltz up, rudely saying.
"YOUR THE REASON WHY ROSA CRYED YESTERDAY! AND THE REASON WHY SHE HAS A COUNCELOR NOW YOU BITCH!" I just looked at her and said "I TOLD YOU! WE GOT OVER IT!,. I WAS GOING TO TALK TO HER TODAY!" And she started this whole rucus and fuss about stupid immature crap, calling me a Liar..and such E.T.C.
Then when she said. "I CANT WAIT TILL YOU MOVE" I replyed with a smile "OH YEAH! ME NEITHER! SO I WONT SEE YOUR FUCKING UGLY FACE ANYMORE!" So in that cumback, she just said, She was going to punch me. i just replyed "Sure, DO IT! Cause your going to get yourself in TROUBLE not me!"
Kate became pissed..squishy..everyone, all at Teddy..and we just didnt enter the Cafe cause Teddy whent thier, and just stood around talking.
Inu kept saying how horrible that was and wtf is up with Teddy.
ALSO! I found out BULLSHIT!..Fake, madeup shit she wrenched about towards Dani.
but, i dont care. Her loss anyway *Looks over and shrugs*
Then, in her Vial attempt to get me in some sort of trouble, blabbed to the principal, and her saying she wanted to punch me INFRONT OF WITNESSES!..Just made it rather funny, Laughing inside, i pulled it cool. Told the Princilal and the security guard Linda exactally what happened, even the people around me that saw said the same thing.
Teddy got Furious, and wammered about started crying and such.
I gave the principal Misas' name and such, Well after that i called my mother on my cellphone, Shese going to talk to Rosa's mother, and also the principal called both Teddy and Misa's parents about the Mishap.
Also i found that Teddy was reading my blog the whole entire time. So whatever, let her read, i dont mind. ^.^
Well..After lunch, i got Escorted, i am never alone in the Halls ever, so i know nothing is going to happen to me.
I told my Guidance councelor everything, even the other teachers like Mister Valastigis and my math teachers, also my soshial studies teacher.
Well, last period i usually take the left hallway, but i just decided to take a right instead, cause i kinda felt funny about the situation, i know that Teddy wants to Kick my ass for something LONG GONE! And totally forgotten about. And knowing her, she will actually go down and bribe people and such just for a little hint of Justice.
So when i walked down the Right and entered down the next one on the left, i looked down the hallway, and guess who was waiting for me at the end of the left hallway? Joyce, My insane ex mello, and 2 other people.
Thinking to myself, she actually stooped that low to actually talk to my insane revilting bitch of an Ex she hates JUST to kick my ass?
I think Violence is intolerable and Immature..
Really, what the hell.
Well, i just scurried away and entered my class without them noticing.
Told Martina and alot of buddies in that class of mine exactally what happend, really..they were all Disgusted in her.
Martina is comin after school with me now, mum drops her off. kinda cool, thats my faveorite class, my last period one, We laugh so HARD! And make the girl next to me wanna puke cause we say really distirbing things well raving out to random music Martina blares out on her Ipod lol.
I swear shese going to break those speakers.
but when we entered mums car and drove away, i told mum exactally what happend.
i swear i can recite everything like Shakespere like im doing now.
Martina joined into the convo about stuff.
Yeah, people do change, i see it everyday, but i really noticed, Teddy hasent, Still the same her, shese even i think going to be..16,17? yeah. and she still acts the same, She solves everything with Violence, and acts REALLY younge for her age, i really Pity that.
But ah well, im leaving soon and thats all that matters, Knowing i have friends, OLD AND NEW. that really care about me.
And still, if she hits me anyway, and i end up in the office.
I dont mind. ^.^ I know exactally everything.
Really, shese making a fuss over something a LONG time ago that she keeps bringing up to Misa herself.
Cry a river, build a Bridge, and get over it.
I did it a LONG time ago, and you should too.
^.^
Am going to go answer my cellphone now, Hope you all have a great day!
Bye bye!

you MAKE ME LAUGH

Not my fault YOU are pushing all your friends away.
Your the one telling me that?
Telling me how stupid i am? I hear that EVERY DAY..EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY DAY!
I have simply had it.
Fine, hence you want this friendship to end, then so be it.
Calling me a Liar...ABOUT WHAT? Tell me exactally everything!
Oh and thinking, the world is all illusion to me and out to get me in my mind, How exactally DO you know that?
from here, everything is actually becoming a Cup of tea, and i'm actually happy with myself and allot because of some tips you said to me a LONG TIME AGO..
Just because,Misa and I Are not being friends ANY MORE! And you not being able to COPE with it. DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO FORCE ME!
I AM NOT A DOORMAT!
When we were not friends before, I WENT THEIR AND MENDED IT BY TALKING TO HER!
Now its her turn.
I told her, straight out, i am not her FRIEND!
You have no RIGHT to come between this!
Nor do you have the right to make FUN of me..I even mailed out your cosplay suit yesterday...i truely HOPE it comes back so i shall BURN IT and the whole likes of your MEMORY.
IF THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT THEN SO BE IT.
I don't know what has GOTTEN into you recently...
All of THIS because of a small stupid chat you had, when Kei mentioned me to Misa, and her saying that i Hate her.

GET THIS LOUD AND CLEAR!
I..DO NOT! HATE HER!
Nor will i ever will be.
I am fucking DISGUSTED with her, and i really HATED the way she treated me!
I always came over..ALWAYS CALLED! Even when i went to talk to her in school...She treated me like i was something that i was not!
I feel like a godamned SKIPPING record here...

Also..
It was all a LONG TIME AGO!
We've cried a river, built a bridge, and got the hell over it.
Dosent mean you have to be an ass wipe just to make yourself feel better cause you want us all to be Chit-chatting to each other in big funny chat rooms like the Good 'Ole-times.

Im not going to be her friend.
I have said it LOUD AND CLEAR!
Yes i am moving away, I see her happy with A LOT of new people.
She has new friends, and i do to. Were both HAPPY.

Stop forcing and telling me what to do all the time Danita...I really cared about you.
And yeah, i went to your every whim.
I was fine with the
"GO TO BED!" stuff...
But it felt like you were saying
"GO OVER TO MISA'S HENCE YOU LIVE NEXT DOOR! AND APOLOGIZE! JUST GO BE FRIENDS WITH HER!"
Im not a Puppet. I have let you tell me what to do...But its not cool when you act this way.
Im not DUMB...im not STUPID!...I am none of those things.
I never Lied to you..
You thinking i will be hurting myself over this? No i will not.
Just cause you want me to, I wont.
Im moving on.

Other then that.

Easter time!
Today was easter! It was so funny! I was sleeping on the bottom bunk, and got woken up by Akassh jumping on me lol.
Shaan was excited, and everyone was happy..Mom cooked this really great breakfast (usually her cooking sucks XD) and we all played monopoly and shoots and ladders, I went and visited my grandmothers for a while, hung out with my cousins and we played Football in the back. I really had a great day n.n
When i got back to Franks, Shaan and Akaash opened easter baskets and mom gave me a new cellphone, So i went online to Activate it lol..Turned Franks messenger on so i can wish my friends Happy easter BUT..his messenger is RETARDED I SWEAR! It does not show which friends are online, and the only way you can chat with anyone, is if they login OR message you! XD But it was alright, i managed to message everyone and wish them a Happy easter as i was showing funny videos to Shaan on the computer.
I kept messing up on activating my Phone and managed to kill the phone number on accident, so i had to call the company lol.the lady..didn't speak up..so it became trouble ahahaha.
After that we went out to eat at Bugaboo creek..i had some BBQ Ribs lol..Got home and went back on my messenger for a few, and searched up some more BJD's.
And something came up with Danita i don't know....*sigh*
Other then that stupid crap, I had a great day for ounce!
Dad actually called and wanted to see me next weekend, i talked to Aubrey and were going to go to the bookstore tomorrow with momo and mimi and Layla! ah thats gonna be cool n.n
Chase called again...meh i think am just going to go to the Arcade with him on Thursday, at least thats something to do.
I have A LOT! Of packing!
So i don't think I'll be on much!
moving in...a month i think!
If ya need me, Call my new Cell, if you don't have it! then just ask me for the number when i'm Online! Get it? got it? Good!
Logging out now! Bye!

Rambling on again.

Movie of the day: Muppet treasure Island
Song of the day: FFUnlimited ending theme 1
Color of the day: SHINY! XD...Jk..i mean Orange~

Noticed I have not been eating, but I just don't feel much anymore.
Also got into a fight with a close friend of mine, Yet again.....

Yes, yes..Am finally not sick anymore!
BUT!...am killing myself with.
1: Lack of sleep
2: Stress
3: Forgetting medication....
4: Forgetting to eat...

Sitting out on my pourch today watching the sun rise, sence i havent had my medication..Being hypersensitive...the dim light murdered my eyes...So now i have to wear these perscription sunglasses allover again..damnit all!
I look like a blind person when i wear them..All black and circley and stuff..

Well..I do get worried..verry easily, and if i get overworried, yes i know i say stuff i kinda shouldent, thats also why i THINK i lost a friend of mine..Ah well...Loose everyone anyway.

Well...I have had alot on my dumb mind recently..And i have been trying to et outside as much as possible as i can..(Tho the sun kills me..even in the shade) i still try my best, cause the weather has lightend up a bit, and why waste it?
And Also (sorry for changing subjects) Aubrey...Shese a verry close friend of mine, Towers over me, she is adorable, green eyes and Mahogany hair, she always stairs at me o.O; When i visit shese all *STARE* Non-stop...And she keeps on making me watch a crapload of Vampire movies and such..
Yes...I kinda dont like vampires (Dani knows the reason..and like what she told me..where both taking things to the grave with us) But yeah...Its wierd how she treats me..Am fine and all...but o.o i kind of feel uncomfortable when im around her, and if you get her and Momo together...they just grope eachother or drag me into it as i try to get away.
I HATE BEING TOUCHED!
Unless its a hug..Hugs are good.
But alot of times, If you go to hug me, or stick a hand on my sholder or something, i just Tense up and shake(Part of whats wrong with me) Other then that, back to Aubrey...Well..I was talking to her on the phone, she had Momo over..I asked if i should just go cause its rude being on the phone when you have a visitor, she just put me on speaker.
Okay..Momo is Bisexual girl...and Aubrey is so straight she makes a ruler look crooked, and the whole time, thier making these jokes, and making noises. AND OF COARSE! 14 going to be 15 year old Male mind at work here...And with two girls destroying it and making it want to sit in a corner and cry..Yeah..
Am sitting here like "Uh...bad thoughts, really..can i go now?" Gets worse that they start talking about how soft boobs are...and thier like "Oh Kohii-kun, we should have you get a squish, you know you'd like ittt"
ONE! I AM A FRESHMAN!
AND THIER LIKE...O.O TALL PEOPLE! AND SCARY!! I DUN TRUST GIRLS NOR WILL I EVER STOOP AS LOW AS TO TOUCH ONE IN THAT SORT OF WAY!
*Shudders*
Why does everyone want to molest me?
*Chibi sob*
Other then that, Chase asked me out again..I really dont know what to do, i feel as if hese stalking me and thiers nothing else i shold do but say "Fine i'll just go out with you stop wining.."
Its getting annoying...
Plus, we have to celibrate this Easter early with my family this year because of alot of stuff coming up, ALSO! I didnt know this weekend was the anime convenction! funny stuff here!

But, am still going through a tough time...dosent help that "She" Keeps calling me..thogh i keep trying to forget...
And the rapist Mello...WORDS DO NOT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I HATE HER! Shese still attempting to take my friends away from me.
..
Sucks..

Also, I have been trying things to forget..my new councilor, i call him Mr.Bob he really helps me with the stress...He said...put how you feel into the hobbies you do..
I noticed..My Violin is better...My guitar is WAY better...even my drawing and clay sculpting! The story i wrote became a hit with everyone at moms work, and even my school..Also i have attempted GARDENING AND COOKING! n.n my cat ate my precious batflowers i have been attempting to grow...for...4 WEEKS NOW! And they were finally sprouting...But yeah...i gave her time out...no treats for 5 days and a tap on the but and a spray from the water sprayer..
I know it sounds mean..but i didnt hurt her...just showed her...dont eat my 15$ plants i saved up for!!
lol
Also my faveorite cousin brittany is coming down, shese dragging me to boston with my 3 other faveorite cousins for the weekend, were going to china town..and all over hells creation in boston hahahaha.
I really cant wait!

Everything seems to be gradually getting better!
Wich is good! and whoohew!

wow...am actually rambling myself to sleep..Think am gona go take a nap, but i'll beback soon!

Night everyone!

MoAr ShIt and A story

Ahh..seems like im surrounded by fucking lies all the time...
Well..Mom started on telling me about my dad, cause i told her dads side, and she said he hit her, thats why she broke up with him..I dont know.
Plus i've been sick...
because of me..
yes yes, laugh it up.
I dont know, its my bad month...Her birthday..The month my friend passed on, when i found out about my father...and more bullshit.
so im always tence this month anyway.
I stopped taking my medication...so am just in pain constantly..and i feel as if noone cares..thogh i know two people who truely do..and i dont ever want to hurt them in my entire life..but i allready did.
so am broken..got myself sicker then anything, im confused..and i havent slept for 2 days now..
every time i try to sleep..my cat wither wakes me up..or i sleep for about 5 minuets and wake up screaming or crying from these gorey, horendous nightmares i've been having non-stop.
and to the worst part, i dont even know if im dreaming or not anymore, one secont i look over, and i see a fucking dead person lying on the godamned floor choking up blood through its eyesockets and i scream shake my head, and look back, its gone. and my aunts just looking at me like "Wtf is wrong with you lately?"
Plus..I really killed my insides yesterday for chugging down so much energy drinks im so afraid to fall asleep..
i tryed taking my medication today, but i threw them up this morning well driving to school onaxident, then i just layed in bed the rest of the day..
when i felt a bit better i got to go see one of the houses we might be moving to. untill mom totally bashed my happyness by telling me about shit that i really dont want to be hearing, that made me want to spyral and fucking die right thier...
I have been in a pissy mood...because i really have alot on my sholders, and i just dont know what to do..

Other then that shit.

I had to write a story for reading class, it was 120 pages long, like our own version of a forbidden love based kinda like Romeo and Juliet.
Mine was about a vampire with a mortal whom he loved, and he got invited to a Masquerade for a meeting with other vampires, and she annoyed him to go, so they argued and she won, so when they whent the other vampires found out that she was a mortal, killed her and he killed himself a few seconts later.
yes...verry short horrible discription of it, but you get the point.
Everyone loves it, my teacher wanted to keep it, my mom brought it to work and literally everyone read it, and wrote some thank yous on a seperate piece of paper.
i read it to my Memere, and she absolutely loved it..thogh she hates vampires o_o

well..My head hurts..
im hungry..but about to puke.
i look so bloody Ghastly its not even funny.
well..Hope everything turns out better..if now..who knows..
Logging out.

NiGhTmArEs

What could be better then a swandive into the ashvault?

*cough* well okay...I havent been sleeping right..
I NEVER Really sleep at night anyway..but my doctors have been trying to use these medications these REALLY strong ass ones that you cant get up until the 4 or 5 houres are up..
well that dosent work...But...I kept having the same dream over and over...that kept waking me up every 5 minuets making me wake up screaming..then getting up..to take a shower or pase around the living room shaking to death as my cat stalked me..

well the dream was about..I was climbing a ladder of a tall sky scraper...And i sat over the edge, and then Dani calls on my cellphone...i answer and she screams "I FUCKING HATE YOU!!! DIE!!! BURN IN HELL!!" i would throw my cellphone off the edge, and hold my head saying "what the fuck have i done?" a while after that...i would get up..and jump..crash through a store and land on some girl...then the shadows would appear from the floors like those folloers of seproth from final fantasy 7...but they would chase me..i would end up in like a high speed procuit with that..
then this book would appear and i'd get closed in it...i'd wake up laying in these flowery grass... all sunny and happy I look up and thiers misa..Thu...Dani...looking down at me smiling..they help me up and were all laughing, and go to the book store, i pick up this book, and its a fortune reader book..and each time i do it, it would show the Satanic symbol and blood would start to consume my hands as i was screaming, i look around and thu screams "HESE SUMMONED!? RUN!!" I just kept screaming, the place would grow dark, and this monster would tear me apart...i could feel it...burning in each grasp..i'd wake up like this...every time...Its horrible..
Anyone know what i could do?

Time over dads

Well, i left friday to stay over at dads place, after the band broke up, he just has the recording studio full of equipment, so he allowed me to plug in my electric guitar and play for a while hahaha.
Am still verry worried about my sis Danita, but am still happy to get away from the Hellhole for a while, I never really know much about Things like Motorcycles, but i have been helping my dad work on a Harley davidson oh it was so cool! >w<
I even know how to play major Riffs on Guitar now lol.
When i was younger, i never knew how my parents actually broke up, Cause mom always changes her story, and dad never told me, so when we were working on the harley together, i sat back and asked him.
He told me.
Well, and i found out, he didnt walk out when my mom was born..she lyed to me..
Okay, my dad always worked in a plastic factory, 16 dollars an hour for mom, mom didnt have a job at the time, and sence she just turned 20 when she had me, dad always helped her out, so a while after that, she wanted to try cause dad asked her, because he cant afford all this at ounce, so her friend got her a job at Mc Donalds, and dad had to drive her thier after work every day, He became really tighred cause i always kept him up constantly..And such..so she said that her "Friends" will drive her thier, dad thought "Oh that would be great... untill one day a car pulled out about up the street, and the streets always quiet so dad looked outside, and saw that thier was only one head in the car...about...20 minuets later he saw another come up..and guess who walked out of the car? My mom..Yeah...

Well..thinking back on this..finally knowing both sides of the story makes me think alot, i really think that my fathers telling the truth, cause whenever i mention anything to mom she snapps at me or something.

Now today, on saturday, me and dad worked on the bike together hahaha, and kept forgetting parts!
but now everythings perfect! and it should be able to ride on in the summer hopegfully!
Grease is a BITCH to wash off!!
My two step sisters Lilly and Amanda decided to paint my nails when i fell asleep o_o;
And amanda always calls me Pete..You know Pete from fallout boy O.o; Its so wierd how fangirls are!
hahaha other then that.
I found the best shampoo! called Tea Tree, oh it works awesome! Got the grease off my arms..hair...face...hands...lol
but the soap burns! XD And it has a Minty smell to it..But it works!
right now i finally got myself ahold of a COMPUTER!~ WHOO!
My dads girlfriend Coreen is babysitting these little kids,and the little ones invited me over so i can help out in watching them o_o; THIS HOUSE IS HUGE!!
Ahahahaha! But am going to have to log out in a few seconts because..
1) The owner of the houses computer
2) Am supposed to be helping to watch these little Demons
3) OMFG EASTER EGG PAINTING IM RIGHT THIER~~ <3
Lol..*cough* you never heard that.. allright
Peace
Logging out.

Lost a friend, and had more bullshit.

Well...It happend...i think yesterday, my sis messaged me saying Thu was picking on her, so ya...being a brother to her i just whent to thu telling her to just plainly stop it.
And she was REALLY...being rude.
Meh, I dont know what happend, but what the hell, what kind of stick has been up peoples asses recently? gah i don think anyone knows.
well...also today...found out my sis really needs alot of comfort.
BECAUSE 1...Tis An's birthday...2...where both in alot of shit...and 3...WHAT THE HELL IS WITH PEOPLE RECENTLY!!
And today..we found out if we dont move out in 2 months...we WILL....be fourced...so moms been really "Snappy'' at me....
THEN! I find out that one of my really REALLY close online friends is a GIRL!
So yeah...am really hurt..
THEN!...I get messages from my sis Danita saying that An told Thu all this Crap...and now Thu removed me from her friends list and blocked and deleted Danita..
Thats not cool *shakes head*
Yeah...I REALLY dont know what the fuck is going on in these little fights.
But really..An needs to stop....Whenever people put that Monkey in a sentence...it usually has something mean with it -.- gah..
I bet if we ever see eachother he'd punch me square in the face for telling him to go Fuck himself.

But...WHATEVER!
I AM SICK AND TIGHRED! OF ALL THIS BULLSHIT!
I SWEAR TO GOD! IF SOMEONE DECIDES TO FIGHT! AND MAKE ME HAVE TO BE!

*Stands in middle* Woah...woaaahh...you two calm dowwnn now..

ILL TELL THEM TO SCREW THEMSELVES!! AAHHH!!

Okay..before i get totally pissed..
Logging out

Ahh i give up..

Well..I give up, i messaged misa yesterday..Here let me copy and paste it.

From: Kohii t To: madteapart4uDate: 02/24/08 11:18 PM
Subject: hey oniichan.. You can not reply to items in your sent folder
Well...Hello....Yeah, i actually saw the old you today well we were playing DDR...I think this is goodbye...seems you hate me anyway..why do i bother coming over? Oh well...yeah i take things too seriously..and yeah i am a fucking cry baby...but hell..i really try to get to talk to you...what? You think im something that i sure as hell know im not?...well...i tryed....this frendship is over...i give up...I know you hate it when i come over..just by the way you are....well...goodluck....and goodbye...Tell giza i said sorry and i hope she gets better....sayonara...ive been hurt too much...

Yeah thats what i wrote to her.
well, me and Misa are not friends anymore, and im just going to ignore her..
It really hurts...

Well other then that, i noticed that me and Danita have been walking in the same shoes...as usuall o_o;
Shese kind of having the same issue with her friend ahh...
well..i hope everything does get better with both of us. o_o
ahh..all i did today was sleep, and do absolutely nothing of the sort, but sew..and draw, i really need to draw alot more.
cause sence i got sick..i really cant do much of anything but sleep..
So i really dont look to great...Im always out of breath, and i cant even go to the Gym with the guys anymore..cause im afraid if im going to passout. yeah..
well..i need to eat so..
Logging out again.

*sigh* i just noticed something

Yeah, i just noticed how i am always talking about misa in these blog posts..but am actually really worried about her...well..shese the only real friend i have ever had...the longest...in 2 months it would be our 3rd best friend anivasarry...
but i really dono if it'll last any longer then now...
well...We used to talk to eachother..sleep over eachothers houses..and we used to talk online all the time...hangout in school..and just plainly have fun...
but now....ever sence Teddy wanted to go out with me...and i even told her i didnt..cause she was a close friend..it seems sence she got misa against me..and into this whole fight...like an arguement..
misa's not the same anymore...I call..she dosent answer...or if she does...mostly all she says is.."oh....yeah...or...no" thats it...
we never see eachother in school..i wave at her and she just ignores me...
i whent over and visit..and its always giza being herself..well misa is just being grumpy...and angry...or just so blank..i just leave im so hurt...
whenever im over SHE IS ON HER SCREENAME! Because shese always messaging people on her sisters laptop..but shese Ohh never logged in on mine...i feel like she hates me...
Well..i whent over and visited today..i actually saw the old misa i miss....
shese only like that when im gone i bet...
or when shese with Teddy...
Im replaced...
I have been Weighed...i have been measured....and i have been found guilty...for something i never have done...
well..ill give...one more week...
If its still the same..
cause i really try everything...I know im not the richest..or funnyest..or big ball of ADHD sunshine..
yeah..i kinda take things too seriously...and yeah...i can be a party pooper sometimes..and i dont mean too...
I think ill just come over to see Giza now...
cause i know about...yeah..i dono...
im hurt...
really...
lost another friend...
okay, am going to just go now and do something...*sigh*
Sighning out.

first Blog post ( and feeling special lol)

Well, i just joined this blooger today, because my sister Danita, really got me facinated into wanting to create a blog myself.
Well hello thier then -waves-
Where actually getting hit with a huge snowstorm, ah..all the time now, its really getting rediculous, when they said "Im dreaming of a white christmas" ITS ALMOST EASTER AND WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?
Really...this is kinda getting horrible.
Oh yes, whent to visit misa's house the other day, Yes i was wearing a flouresent pink fuzzy kitty hat, so i can make one for her, Tripped and fell, infront of a whole groupe of people, Yes I hate being called a girl, and it really annoys me.
And all of a sudden i hear "HAHAHA DUDE THAT CHICK JUST FELL! AHAHAHA!"
I swear, i just wanted to get up and kick all thier wannabe gangster asses right thier...but, ahh..its allright, i just whent in and showed misa the hat.
Recently..I've actually been verry worried about her..She really dosent seem to be herself recently..Everytime i come, its always Giza whos the sunball of joy..
after the Teddy incident where me and misa got into a fight, a couple days before i had the breakdown and ended up in the hospital, She really hasent been the same.
Yeah, I was shocked about Giza, she works in a cullinary buisness as a pastery chef for a verry nice place in boston, i absolutely love it, She got her fingers caught in a food processor >.< Owch.
So i've been coming over to misa's to see if thier allright all the time, and when Mum (I call misa's mom my mom too) was sick, i actualy stayed up allnight and cleaned the house for them.
But hell..its allright..
Yeah, am really a huge crybaby..And i like dramas and most of my friends are girls lol.
But, i really..if i had the choice, I dont know why i take my life for granted.
Am always getting yelled at for stupid things, but when i really look at it, its kinda funny.
yes..i never finish stories, or sentences, Giza says i have ADD Or something hahaha.
Well thank you for reading todays blog ^^ And i hope you dont think i totally suck hahaha.